Parce que Lois, Hal et Dewey partent assister à une compétition de piano, Ida est chargée de surveiller Malcolm et Reese. Ida pense que Reese a besoin de devenir un homme et par conséquent organise une compétition entre les deux frères. Si Reese gagne, il pourra épouser Raduca. Mais Malcolm a la ferme intention de ne pas le laisser gagner ...
Script VO Brut
* By www.tvsubtitles.net *
1
00:00:17,371 --> 00:00:20,171
Look. Soon or later.
Someone will have to do the dishes.
2
00:00:21,706 --> 00:00:25,388
Malcolm in the Middle - 7.11 - "Bride of Ida"
Synchronisation par Max & Tyno, Script par Raceman.
Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk & Malcolm-France.com
3
00:00:25,932 --> 00:00:27,282
For the love of God!
4
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:30,053
We should have left for the
airport nine minutes ago!
5
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:34,135
Dewey's in this big-deal piano
competition in St. Louis this weekend.
6
00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:36,487
It's being held at
a huge, fancy hotel.
7
00:00:36,751 --> 00:00:39,295
Prominent musicians from all around
the world are going to be there.
8
00:00:39,325 --> 00:00:41,769
And the best part is,
Reese and I don't have to go.
9
00:00:41,799 --> 00:00:42,849
This is unbelievable!
10
00:00:42,962 --> 00:00:45,765
She's leaving us alone in the
house for the whole weekend!
11
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:46,761
She's losing it!
12
00:00:46,776 --> 00:00:48,449
Shh. Don't remind her. Be cool.
13
00:00:48,973 --> 00:00:51,404
...Four, and Dewey's makes five...
14
00:00:51,541 --> 00:00:53,699
I still feel like I'm
forgetting something.
15
00:00:54,873 --> 00:00:59,939
Okay, listen, they're not likely
to do another Patrick Swayze
festival for four, maybe five years,
16
00:01:00,086 --> 00:01:02,436
so I'm counting on you
to tape the whole thing.
17
00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:03,992
Let's go!
18
00:01:04,014 --> 00:01:06,601
We still have to drop
Jamie off at Mrs. Foley's.
19
00:01:07,324 --> 00:01:09,474
I still feel like I'm
forgetting something.
20
00:01:12,525 --> 00:01:14,686
Hi, Mom. I thought we
were gonna miss you.
21
00:01:14,956 --> 00:01:16,870
Be careful with those
bags, you cow.
22
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,071
Hi, Raduca.
23
00:01:18,421 --> 00:01:19,827
Family, howdy.
24
00:01:19,831 --> 00:01:22,231
You're here to work,
not gossip like a fishwife.
25
00:01:24,053 --> 00:01:25,418
What's Grandma doing here?!
26
00:01:25,521 --> 00:01:26,982
You never said
Grandma was coming!
27
00:01:27,012 --> 00:01:27,932
Oh, I didn't?
28
00:01:28,082 --> 00:01:30,881
Ah, well, then, it's just a
nice surprise for you boys.
29
00:01:31,752 --> 00:01:36,702
Remember last month when you
came in after curfew and you said,
"What are you going to do about it?"
30
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:39,333
Sorry it took me so long
to get back to you.
31
00:01:47,829 --> 00:01:51,509
These are sex organs of
four different animals.
32
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:53,674
And a little oregano.
33
00:01:55,235 --> 00:01:58,910
Reese, I've watched you
grow all these years.
34
00:01:59,004 --> 00:02:01,693
You are the one hope
for this family.
35
00:02:02,212 --> 00:02:05,434
I just pray you are
ready to become a man.
36
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:08,522
Hey, what was that for?
37
00:02:10,638 --> 00:02:12,271
You are ready.
38
00:02:16,275 --> 00:02:17,520
Dewey, slow down.
39
00:02:17,521 --> 00:02:20,425
No, we have to get to Gate Seven
or we'll miss our connecting flight.
40
00:02:20,455 --> 00:02:21,570
Oooh. Cinnabons!
41
00:02:21,571 --> 00:02:25,073
No! No Cinnabons,
no bretzels, no frozen yogurt.
42
00:02:25,259 --> 00:02:27,317
You can raid the mini-bar
when we get to the hotel.
43
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,133
Do I have your permission
to go to the bathroom?
44
00:02:29,163 --> 00:02:31,053
No. If you go to the other
side of the partition,
45
00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:33,330
then we'll all have to go
through security again.
46
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,260
Dad, you tell her.
47
00:02:36,388 --> 00:02:36,786
Dad?
48
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,172
Ooh, it's Paris.
49
00:02:44,347 --> 00:02:46,468
It's even more beautiful
than I imagined!
50
00:02:49,809 --> 00:02:54,597
In our country, after a boy
turns 16, he becomes a barochi.
51
00:02:55,469 --> 00:02:57,462
We watch this boy for one year.
52
00:02:57,535 --> 00:03:01,604
Then, when he is ready, he is
plucked from is mother's teat
53
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:03,781
and thrown into
the town square,
54
00:03:03,899 --> 00:03:07,060
where he must battle with
the other boys for dominance.
55
00:03:07,644 --> 00:03:09,781
Wait, up until this point,
they're still breast feeding?
56
00:03:09,811 --> 00:03:11,432
It keeps families close.
57
00:03:12,536 --> 00:03:15,201
The boys fight each other
with all their might.
58
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:19,634
When it is over, the one
left standing is the man.
59
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,933
The rest are dronska.
60
00:03:23,025 --> 00:03:26,021
Then more breasts are offered
to the proud young man.
61
00:03:26,068 --> 00:03:30,193
But these are not the withered
spigots of the mother, no.
62
00:03:30,421 --> 00:03:34,706
These are the ripe,
inviting pleasure domes
63
00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:39,846
of the virgins of the village,
presented dripping with wine.
64
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,293
Our family comes from the
coolest country in the world.
65
00:03:44,337 --> 00:03:46,049
And it must continue, Reese.
66
00:03:46,466 --> 00:03:49,219
You must carry on
with this ritual.
67
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,525
Grandma, this is not only
moronic, it's impossible.
68
00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:54,093
For one thing, there is no village
full of boys for Reese to fight.
69
00:03:54,123 --> 00:03:55,935
No, we will have to make do.
70
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:59,017
-The closest thing we
have to a boy is you.
-What?
71
00:03:59,119 --> 00:04:02,655
You shall be the rock on
which his knife is sharpened.
72
00:04:02,773 --> 00:04:05,449
There will be contests of
strength and endurance.
73
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,033
When he defeats you,
he shall be a man.
74
00:04:08,299 --> 00:04:09,349
What if I defeat him?
75
00:04:12,684 --> 00:04:15,725
And once you are a man,
you shall get this.
76
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:18,692
The whole plate of potatoes?
77
00:04:19,423 --> 00:04:22,138
You will take Raduca
for your bride.
78
00:04:23,128 --> 00:04:23,678
You mean...
79
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:25,823
Like I marry her? Now?
80
00:04:25,843 --> 00:04:28,547
That is why I brought
Raduca to this country.
81
00:04:28,565 --> 00:04:31,851
You brought her here six months ago.
She's been working as your slave.
82
00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:33,437
I should get something
for my trouble.
83
00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:38,298
Grandma, you can't take two teenagers
who've never met each other and force
them into some sham marriage.
84
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:40,501
That's not the way things
work in civilized countries.
85
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,572
If I get a wife, does that
mean I get to have sex?
86
00:04:42,602 --> 00:04:44,868
So much sex you
won't believe it.
87
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,452
I'm in.
88
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,060
Well, Dad, this makes
it all worth it.
89
00:05:00,148 --> 00:05:01,917
They never have "Dewey"s.
90
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:03,420
Look, there's no one there.
91
00:05:07,943 --> 00:05:09,840
Ma'am, we need you
to get back in line.
92
00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:11,214
We're just trying to
get in the empty one.
93
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:15,650
That line is for first class and
commodores club passengers only.
94
00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:17,742
Excuse me?
95
00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:20,016
Mom, we need to
make this flight.
96
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:24,710
So, this airport's policy is that
increased security should only
inconvenience poor people?
97
00:05:24,713 --> 00:05:25,891
I don't make the rules, ma'am.
98
00:05:25,921 --> 00:05:27,271
No, no one makes the rules.
99
00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:29,406
Why would anyone want
to take responsibility?
100
00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:29,986
Mom!
101
00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:38,075
Ma'am, step over here, please.
102
00:05:38,489 --> 00:05:42,058
I know what it is. It's
the underwire on my bra.
It always sets these things off.
103
00:05:45,081 --> 00:05:47,281
You seem to have
something under your shirt.
104
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,141
Yes, as I said,
105
00:05:50,822 --> 00:05:54,777
I have a bra on under my shirt,
and there is an underwire in my bra.
106
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,112
Code 25.
107
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:02,161
I can't believe this is the first
underwire to come through this place.
108
00:06:02,191 --> 00:06:04,811
Surely you people have
encountered bras before.
109
00:06:05,328 --> 00:06:08,197
This is punishment for what I said
about the first-class line, isn't it?
110
00:06:08,227 --> 00:06:10,411
Ma'am, I need to
touch your breasts.
111
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,027
You need to touch my what?!
112
00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:14,412
I'm required to probe
with the back of my hand.
113
00:06:14,422 --> 00:06:17,355
If you like, you can request
up to two female witnesses.
114
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:18,776
Let me understand this.
115
00:06:18,785 --> 00:06:22,891
Because I made a comment
about first class, I am being
singled out for a public feel-up?
116
00:06:22,921 --> 00:06:26,726
Oh for God's sake, Mom,
just let her touch your boobs!
117
00:06:27,267 --> 00:06:28,779
The kid makes a lot
of sense, ma'am.
118
00:06:28,809 --> 00:06:32,601
Now, do you want to do this
the easy way or the hard way?
119
00:06:36,718 --> 00:06:41,331
Okay, the tickets are changed.
The next flight leaves in 15 hours.
120
00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:44,256
So I get no time to practice
and no sleep tonight.
121
00:06:44,376 --> 00:06:47,926
You should have seen what
happened the first time I touched 'em.
122
00:07:06,985 --> 00:07:10,935
No, I'm canceling everything.
I'm chartering a helicopter
and getting out of...
123
00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:12,204
Sorry. Oh, I...
124
00:07:12,234 --> 00:07:17,368
What? No, I just tripped
over some stupid kid that
was playing around the floor.
125
00:07:17,369 --> 00:07:19,468
I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry.
126
00:07:33,415 --> 00:07:37,116
Two boys enter,
one man emerges.
127
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,625
You must beat him
at every contest...
128
00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:43,984
or there will be
no bride for you.
129
00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:48,190
I really appreciate
you doing this for me.
130
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,911
Listen, moron, I'm not doing
this to help you get married.
131
00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:54,068
I'm gonna try to win to keep you from
flushing your life down the toilet.
132
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:57,528
We begin with the
Trial of Pain.
133
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,354
Raduca, the strings.
134
00:08:09,248 --> 00:08:12,477
This trial teaches
an important lesson.
135
00:08:12,714 --> 00:08:18,936
Until you can ignore your own pain, you
cannot truly ignore the pain of others.
136
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:24,927
The first one to take two
steps backwards is the victor.
137
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:28,766
I don't get why this is
supposed to hurt so much.
138
00:08:28,796 --> 00:08:29,297
Go.
139
00:08:37,595 --> 00:08:40,645
I didn't think anything above
my waist could be so sensitive.
140
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,357
Why don't you want
me to be happy?!
141
00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:44,337
I'm only doing this
because I love you!
142
00:08:45,678 --> 00:08:46,209
Must...
143
00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:47,352
take... mind off...
144
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:48,850
ear pain!
145
00:08:53,139 --> 00:08:54,622
The victor!
146
00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:56,634
That was so easy!
147
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,968
I barely worked up a sweat.
148
00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:06,827
May I help you?
149
00:09:06,954 --> 00:09:08,351
Oh, hi, yes.
150
00:09:08,863 --> 00:09:12,526
It kills me to have to do this,
but I'm gonna return this.
151
00:09:13,728 --> 00:09:16,945
No... please, Mr.
Saunders, don't do that.
152
00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:17,823
I implore you.
153
00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:21,669
We know our service got a little
slack last year, but we have improved.
154
00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:23,594
We have expanded the buffet.
155
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:27,752
Before you make a decision,
let us get you a massage or a manicure.
156
00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:31,385
We have complimentary
30-year-old Scotch and a full bar.
157
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:36,840
Can't we please, please, persuade
you to give us another chance?
158
00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:41,552
Well, all right.
159
00:09:42,643 --> 00:09:45,770
But let's not have a
repeat of last time.
160
00:09:47,568 --> 00:09:51,091
You are now one step
closer to your manhood.
161
00:09:51,986 --> 00:09:56,154
The next trial takes place
within the Sack of Fellowship.
162
00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,822
Once inside the sack
you will face a choice:
163
00:09:59,111 --> 00:10:02,042
To work together or
to fight each other.
164
00:10:03,324 --> 00:10:06,240
If you work together,
you'll both lose.
165
00:10:06,385 --> 00:10:07,421
So now what happens?
166
00:10:07,588 --> 00:10:08,315
I don't know.
167
00:10:09,012 --> 00:10:11,862
I'm still trying to figure
out why there's a dog in here.
168
00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:15,056
Grandma, what are
we supposed to do?
169
00:10:15,086 --> 00:10:16,043
Just get out.
170
00:10:16,175 --> 00:10:17,455
-That's it?
-That's it.
171
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,319
Okay, Reese, you beat
me fair and square.
172
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,749
Just-Just help me get out...
173
00:11:00,165 --> 00:11:01,265
How's it going, sport?
174
00:11:01,426 --> 00:11:03,587
Fantastic. I've been
practicing for hours.
175
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:06,671
Of course, I'm screwed if we
have to play on real pianos.
176
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:08,739
Ah, buck up, son.
We're all sacrificing.
177
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,319
Why are your nails shiny?
178
00:11:10,549 --> 00:11:11,196
No reason.
179
00:11:11,716 --> 00:11:13,857
Can I at least have a dollar
for the soda machine?
180
00:11:13,887 --> 00:11:15,823
Nope. All gone to
the great tip fairy.
181
00:11:17,856 --> 00:11:19,206
Boy, these chairs are hard.
182
00:11:26,844 --> 00:11:28,017
Stop, thief!
183
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:30,698
I'm sorry!
184
00:11:31,179 --> 00:11:33,950
-You crushed my fingers.
-I didn't mean to. Let me see.
185
00:11:34,045 --> 00:11:34,885
Look what you did to me.
186
00:11:34,915 --> 00:11:36,723
Keep the fingers elevated,
Dewey, and don't worry.
187
00:11:36,753 --> 00:11:38,703
I know where I can
find some Evian ice.
188
00:11:41,622 --> 00:11:42,281
Cool!
189
00:11:42,352 --> 00:11:44,202
Grandma's got props
for the next one.
190
00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:45,383
I'm done, Reese.
191
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,846
I'm not going through
any more of these trials.
192
00:11:47,952 --> 00:11:48,852
What's the matter?
193
00:11:49,181 --> 00:11:51,059
I thought we were finally
doing something as a family.
194
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:54,133
If you want to let that crazy
old bat ruin your life, fine.
195
00:11:54,242 --> 00:11:55,192
Knock yourself out.
196
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:56,618
How is she ruining my life?
197
00:11:56,854 --> 00:11:58,240
She's getting me a bride.
198
00:11:58,421 --> 00:11:59,795
A female bride.
199
00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:02,473
I mean, what are the odds that
a girl is ever going to want me?
200
00:12:02,503 --> 00:12:04,371
You can get a girl, Reese.
201
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,269
If you just didn't act like a vicious,
stupid thug all the time.
202
00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:09,149
Come on, Malcolm,
let's be realistic.
203
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,000
Grandma, Malcolm doesn't
want to play anymore.
204
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,330
So I guess I win by forfeit.
205
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:13,940
What?!
206
00:12:14,486 --> 00:12:17,399
You cannot become
a man by forfeit.
207
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:19,799
You must go through
all the trials.
208
00:12:19,868 --> 00:12:21,679
You must win every one.
209
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:23,795
But they're your rules.
Can't you just change them?
210
00:12:23,825 --> 00:12:27,053
These are not my rules.
These are the ways of our people.
211
00:12:27,107 --> 00:12:29,896
-The ways cannot die.
-Yes, they can.
212
00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:31,393
They should.
213
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,773
They should be murdered
and mashed up and
214
00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:36,660
dumped down a salt mine along
with nuclear waste and left there
215
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,504
to fester and rot in a
toxic pool of its own filth!
216
00:12:39,938 --> 00:12:43,586
Your pretty words
don't hide your fear.
217
00:12:44,248 --> 00:12:44,653
What?!
218
00:12:44,666 --> 00:12:49,033
You are afraid of the next trial
because it is a test of intelligence.
219
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:53,358
You are afraid to find out who is
really the smart one in the family.
220
00:12:53,722 --> 00:12:57,138
He goes around with his nose
in a book, sucking in facts.
221
00:12:57,215 --> 00:12:58,665
He doesn't have what we have.
222
00:12:59,003 --> 00:13:01,896
You and I have street smarts.
223
00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:03,425
Oh, here we go.
224
00:13:03,675 --> 00:13:08,059
Every moron who's willing to act like
a criminal is loaded with street smarts.
225
00:13:08,190 --> 00:13:11,135
Well, let me tell you
something, Grandma, you're
either smart or you're not.
226
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,273
Saying you have street smarts
just means you're willing
227
00:13:13,303 --> 00:13:16,646
to do things that smart, sensitive
people are too decent to do.
228
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,260
That's not a sign
of intelligence.
229
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:23,703
It's not.
230
00:13:26,335 --> 00:13:27,234
It's not!
231
00:13:28,863 --> 00:13:30,913
I promise to always
love and respect you.
232
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:33,433
As long as you stay in
a 20-pound weight range.
233
00:13:40,755 --> 00:13:44,498
Arturo, I would be a
dead man without you.
234
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:45,650
Mr. Saunders.
235
00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:48,563
Please. Mr. Saunders
is my father.
236
00:13:48,748 --> 00:13:49,882
You can call me...
237
00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:52,737
what my first name is.
238
00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:54,114
If you'll just follow me.
239
00:13:58,432 --> 00:14:00,950
Now, do I disrobe for a salt glow,
or just strip to the waist?
240
00:14:00,980 --> 00:14:01,779
Sit down here.
241
00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:04,475
Our teleconference service
was down for an hour.
242
00:14:04,505 --> 00:14:08,005
I'm sorry it took so long to set up,
but everyone's ready for you now.
243
00:14:08,392 --> 00:14:11,069
London, Berlin, Tokyo.
244
00:14:11,891 --> 00:14:12,912
Tokyo?
245
00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:17,781
Mr. Saunders,
we finally meet face to face.
246
00:14:19,244 --> 00:14:20,017
Yes, uh...
247
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:20,866
Well...
248
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:22,883
Hi, there.
249
00:14:23,008 --> 00:14:25,825
I'm afraid we can't wait
for your reply any longer.
250
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,560
We need an answer from you.
251
00:14:27,589 --> 00:14:29,124
You need an answer from me?
252
00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:31,352
We have five
governments involved.
253
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:36,785
If you can't decide, we shall have
no choice but to sever all ties.
254
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:43,522
That means Malaysia, that means Taiwan,
that means the entire eastern sector!
255
00:14:43,531 --> 00:14:45,646
We need you to
choose now, sir.
256
00:14:46,159 --> 00:14:49,063
Is it yes... or no?
257
00:14:50,363 --> 00:14:51,397
Okay, um...
258
00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:54,243
Just...
259
00:15:35,675 --> 00:15:38,154
Fine. You have us
at a disadvantage.
260
00:15:38,832 --> 00:15:42,397
We will wire another six
million into your account.
261
00:15:44,932 --> 00:15:45,824
All right, then.
262
00:15:47,292 --> 00:15:48,854
The answer is yes.
263
00:15:48,975 --> 00:15:50,000
Very good.
264
00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:53,369
We'll begin shipping
the antidote at once.
265
00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:56,361
Excellent.
266
00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,780
By the way, Are-Are we...
267
00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:03,145
good guys?
268
00:16:13,864 --> 00:16:14,605
Hey, honey.
269
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:16,050
What have you been doing?
270
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,503
Well, I can honestly
say I have no idea.
271
00:16:19,976 --> 00:16:21,276
-Do you want me to...?
-No.
272
00:16:21,282 --> 00:16:22,889
Stupid hot sauce.
273
00:16:23,478 --> 00:16:23,928
You okay?
274
00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:25,968
Dewey's been absolutely
horrible to me.
275
00:16:25,996 --> 00:16:28,324
I know we missed the flight,
I know I hurt his fingers,
276
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,167
I know this isn't the
greatest day of his life, but
277
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,081
he's been acting like I'm trying
to ruin his contest on purpose.
278
00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:36,145
Well, honey, it has been an
awful lot of stuff in a row.
279
00:16:36,405 --> 00:16:37,655
What are you saying, Hal?
280
00:16:37,774 --> 00:16:38,878
You agree with him?
281
00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:40,867
You actually think
that I would...?
282
00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:47,733
This is the final test.
283
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:52,178
The game of Vishnok will show us
who has the brains around here.
284
00:16:52,181 --> 00:16:53,681
-Grandma, how do we play?
-Shh!
285
00:16:53,832 --> 00:16:54,632
You will listen!
286
00:16:56,697 --> 00:16:59,857
The rabbits run to their lair.
287
00:17:00,406 --> 00:17:04,207
The moon embraces you.
288
00:17:05,022 --> 00:17:08,939
The horse turns to lead.
289
00:17:09,631 --> 00:17:14,601
The apple holds the key.
290
00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:19,401
You have two minutes.
291
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:21,948
What are we doing?
292
00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:22,864
I don't know.
293
00:17:25,284 --> 00:17:26,586
-Did you feel this?
-What?
294
00:17:28,164 --> 00:17:29,865
The rabbits run to their lair.
295
00:17:30,562 --> 00:17:32,052
The moon embraces you.
296
00:17:32,491 --> 00:17:34,478
The horse turns to lead.
297
00:17:41,505 --> 00:17:43,293
The apple holds the key.
298
00:17:43,992 --> 00:17:45,872
Ha! I beat him! It's over!
299
00:17:45,921 --> 00:17:47,246
...proski, verontut...
300
00:17:47,247 --> 00:17:48,498
The marriage is off.
301
00:17:48,703 --> 00:17:51,287
After 2,000 years
your ways are dead.
302
00:17:51,974 --> 00:17:55,443
I am content the ways
have been followed.
303
00:17:55,977 --> 00:17:56,427
What?!
304
00:17:56,899 --> 00:17:59,698
No. No, you don't get to
pretend you're okay with this.
305
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,341
I never followed your ways.
306
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,012
Well, I did, but it was
for a different reason...
307
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,727
Pack up my things, cow.
We leave in five minutes.
308
00:18:06,861 --> 00:18:07,661
No, wait.
309
00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:10,190
Don't go!
310
00:18:11,155 --> 00:18:12,305
I got two out of three.
311
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:14,110
There must be some way
I can marry Raduca.
312
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:16,552
It is impossible.
You're not a man.
313
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:20,901
The most you can ever hope to
be now is a very butch woman.
314
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:24,550
Well, I'm going to
marry her anyway!
315
00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:25,596
It is forbidden.
316
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,356
The ways don't allow you.
317
00:18:27,361 --> 00:18:29,935
Well, then from now on,
I reject your ways forever!
318
00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:36,085
Listen, I'm not
the perfect guy.
319
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:38,231
I might not even be a good guy.
320
00:18:39,031 --> 00:18:40,228
But if you marry me,
321
00:18:40,798 --> 00:18:44,491
we'll both be certain for the
rest of our lives that I never
could have done any better.
322
00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:47,953
She will never marry a dronska
like you. She's a good girl.
323
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,341
I will marry you.
324
00:18:51,342 --> 00:18:54,882
-I forbid you to do this!
-You cannot forbid me.
325
00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:57,446
I am American girl now.
326
00:18:57,501 --> 00:18:58,665
I have iPod.
327
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:00,370
I wear thong.
328
00:19:00,829 --> 00:19:01,963
I shave!
329
00:19:02,276 --> 00:19:03,804
Hide your shame, whore!
330
00:19:04,118 --> 00:19:05,972
You can't talk to
my wife that way.
331
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,627
I'm going to spend the rest of my
life with the woman I probably love.
332
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:26,060
Well, apparently only
permanent blindness gets
you bumped up to first class.
333
00:19:26,753 --> 00:19:28,733
Well, the redness
is going down.
334
00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:30,705
I think you can
compete just fine.
335
00:19:30,946 --> 00:19:32,746
Why don't you just
cut the act, Mom?
336
00:19:32,856 --> 00:19:34,056
You got what you wanted.
337
00:19:34,234 --> 00:19:35,168
What are you talking about?
338
00:19:35,198 --> 00:19:39,487
You don't like watching me be
successful, because it reminds you that
you never did anything with your life.
339
00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:42,677
And now, instead of taking joy
in your kids' accomplishments,
340
00:19:42,686 --> 00:19:45,013
you undermine us so
we won't show you up.
341
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,501
Maybe it's unconscious,
maybe you know you're doing it,
342
00:19:47,531 --> 00:19:49,931
but that's what's been
going on this whole trip.
343
00:19:51,469 --> 00:19:52,075
So what?
344
00:19:52,512 --> 00:19:52,884
Huh?
345
00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:56,155
You think you're the first kid in the
world whose parents ever sabotaged him?
346
00:19:56,185 --> 00:19:58,609
Please, Dewey, parents undermine
their children all the time.
347
00:19:58,639 --> 00:20:03,849
My dad told me I would never amount
to anything and live a life of hardship
and constant disappointment.
348
00:20:06,203 --> 00:20:08,337
Wait. We're talking about Mom.
349
00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:09,690
Well, you shouldn't be.
350
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:11,603
This is your life.
351
00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:14,996
Crap flies at you.
You got to learn to deal with it.
352
00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:17,529
Besides, which story
would you rather tell...
353
00:20:17,572 --> 00:20:21,122
The one where you show up at a
contest, play something and get a prize,
354
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:29,000
or the one where your family torpedoes you
and even though you are crippled and blind,
you still come through to win first place?
355
00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:31,704
I guess the second
one's a better story.
356
00:20:32,185 --> 00:20:33,227
Of course it is.
357
00:20:35,422 --> 00:20:36,272
Okay, Mom.
358
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:38,559
Let's go to St. Louis.
359
00:20:39,061 --> 00:20:41,490
Damn straight.
Let's win this thing.
360
00:20:43,979 --> 00:20:46,493
Wow, that Chinese kid was good.
361
00:20:47,644 --> 00:20:51,360
I have to hand it to you, Mom,
having Grandma look after us
sure kept us out of trouble.
362
00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:52,240
Where's your brother?
363
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:52,831
In Vegas.
364
00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:56,886
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
365
00:21:01,834 --> 00:21:04,265
I'll do everything
I can to make you happy.
366
00:21:04,649 --> 00:21:08,340
As soon as we get home, I'm kicking
Dewey and Malcolm out of the big bed.
367
00:21:08,421 --> 00:21:10,884
TO BE CONTINUED...
