Épisode Hal déprime S07E14 - Malcolm in the Middle Saison 7

Script VO Brut

* By www.tvsubtitles.net *

1
00:00:00,984 --> 00:00:03,835
We are not stopping
until we find that smell.

2
00:00:03,987 --> 00:00:05,087
Check out that black thing.

3
00:00:07,352 --> 00:00:08,307
Was that even food?

4
00:00:08,696 --> 00:00:10,605
I believe it was
cheese at one time.

5
00:00:14,121 --> 00:00:15,649
No, that's not it.

6
00:00:22,686 --> 00:00:23,239
-Nope.
-No.

7
00:00:24,706 --> 00:00:25,898
Hey, what about that?

8
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,809
Oh, God!

9
00:00:31,426 --> 00:00:34,262
Isn't that the school rat that Dewey
was taking care of last summer?

10
00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:41,746
No, that's not it.

11
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:45,901
Malcolm in the Middle - 7.14 - "Hal Grieves"
Synchronisation par Tyno, Script par Raceman.
Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk & Malcolm-France.com

12
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,161
No, no, no, don't hang up.
We've almost made our decision.

13
00:00:49,311 --> 00:00:51,186
I get three meat toppings
for the price of one!

14
00:00:51,287 --> 00:00:53,554
No, no! Buy two pizzas, get one free!

15
00:00:53,639 --> 00:00:55,310
That's two free cheese pizzas!

16
00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:56,523
I'd rather eat vomit!

17
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:59,083
The prospect of a deal sends
this family into a frenzy.

18
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:02,628
When you throw in pizza, they need me
to keep from totally losing perspective.

19
00:01:02,737 --> 00:01:03,511
Shut up, everyone!

20
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:04,280
Just shut up!

21
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:09,119
If we're not having deep-dish, then
I swear I will tear up these "free
cheesy bread" coupons right now!

22
00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,072
Damn your cheesy bread!
I need toppings!

23
00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:12,714
Why don't we just get
the stuffed crust special?

24
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,029
And lose my free bucket
of soda? Are you insane?!

25
00:01:15,628 --> 00:01:16,990
Now, listen, Dennis,
I'm a reasonable man,

26
00:01:16,991 --> 00:01:21,229
but I can't go back to my family
with a lot of lawyer talk about
coupon expiration dates.

27
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:23,696
So why don't we just reduce
the two three-fers to two-fers?

28
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,673
Five toppings on each, and we'll just
grandfather in the wacky wings, okay?

29
00:01:27,027 --> 00:01:30,183
No, no, hold on, hold on. This
call-waiting guy will not take a hint!

30
00:01:30,184 --> 00:01:31,849
Hello. I can't talk right now. I...

31
00:01:32,647 --> 00:01:33,003
Yes.

32
00:01:35,601 --> 00:01:35,936
What?

33
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:38,306
Dad, come on, you're
gonna lose those wings!

34
00:01:41,576 --> 00:01:41,892
What?

35
00:01:43,764 --> 00:01:44,868
My father died.

36
00:01:51,207 --> 00:01:52,660
It was weird going
to Grandpa's funeral.

37
00:01:53,187 --> 00:01:55,353
We hardly even knew we had
a grandpa, and now we don't.

38
00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:57,464
Reese is taking it really hard.

39
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,192
Why! Why!

40
00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:02,411
Why couldn't he die before
he lost all his money?

41
00:02:07,812 --> 00:02:08,410
You okay?

42
00:02:09,469 --> 00:02:09,949
Yeah, I'm fine.

43
00:02:11,149 --> 00:02:11,940
Are you sure?

44
00:02:13,819 --> 00:02:18,283
It seems a little weird that the
second you come home from your father's
funeral, you turn on Sports Bloopers.

45
00:02:20,149 --> 00:02:20,593
Hey.

46
00:02:20,873 --> 00:02:21,418
Hal...

47
00:02:21,614 --> 00:02:24,080
It is not healthy to
keep all this bottled up.

48
00:02:24,179 --> 00:02:24,753
I agree.

49
00:02:25,118 --> 00:02:26,926
I just don't have anything to unbottle.

50
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,905
I mean, I thought I'd cry
when I saw him in the box.

51
00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:33,069
I thought I'd cry when they closed it.

52
00:02:33,527 --> 00:02:36,273
I thought I'd cry when they put it in the
ground and I threw dirt on him, but...

53
00:02:37,746 --> 00:02:38,062
nothing.

54
00:02:39,599 --> 00:02:43,003
Actually, I did get a little misty listening
to the funeral we passed on the way out.

55
00:02:43,452 --> 00:02:47,920
Do you know that man was the shoeshine
guy on the same corner for 40 years?

56
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:48,349
Hal.

57
00:02:49,205 --> 00:02:51,133
You don't have to be brave.

58
00:02:51,182 --> 00:02:52,000
I'm not.

59
00:02:52,568 --> 00:02:53,351
You know me.

60
00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:56,073
I cried at that movie
about the boxing wallaby.

61
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:57,127
I remember.

62
00:02:58,126 --> 00:03:01,702
I think I'm not feeling anything because
I never really had a relationship with him.

63
00:03:02,064 --> 00:03:05,298
I mean, I suppose he knew my name,
but he'd always just call me "buddy."

64
00:03:05,523 --> 00:03:06,375
Oh, Hal.

65
00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:11,448
So, now a relationship that was
totally meaningless and trivial is over.

66
00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:14,024
It's hard to get too upset.

67
00:03:19,535 --> 00:03:23,368
Hey, Lois. I'm returning the
Newsweek you lent me on Y2K.

68
00:03:23,465 --> 00:03:25,233
It's okay, Abe. Hal's asleep.

69
00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:26,009
Good.

70
00:03:26,159 --> 00:03:26,790
How's he doing?

71
00:03:26,924 --> 00:03:29,421
Well, he seems to be
doing fine, but he can't be.

72
00:03:29,435 --> 00:03:32,865
His father just died. He got more upset
when his transmission gave out.

73
00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:34,492
Well, he did just have it rebuilt.

74
00:03:35,328 --> 00:03:36,312
But I know what you're saying.

75
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:38,797
Sounds like he needs
to talk to someone.

76
00:03:39,191 --> 00:03:41,451
Abe, thank you!
I know he respects you.

77
00:03:41,452 --> 00:03:43,397
Not me. I don't want to see him cry.

78
00:03:43,778 --> 00:03:45,457
He needs to talk to a professional.

79
00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:46,619
A therapist?

80
00:03:46,729 --> 00:03:47,871
No, a professional actor.

81
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:51,975
I suggest William Shatner,
TV's Captain Kirk.

82
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:53,209
What?

83
00:03:53,269 --> 00:03:54,904
That's who I turn to in a time of need.

84
00:03:55,359 --> 00:03:55,726
Lois...

85
00:03:56,486 --> 00:04:01,787
There's this wonderful service where they
hook up ordinary people with celebrities.

86
00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:07,319
You pay a fee, and you get a
phone call from your choice of
participating TV or movie stars.

87
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,555
Well, mostly TV stars.

88
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,439
And you think this is
something Hal would want?

89
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,329
Absolutely! He's a huge
fan of classic Trek.

90
00:04:16,585 --> 00:04:18,341
It's not something you
share with your wife.

91
00:04:19,116 --> 00:04:23,312
Lois, believe me, I don't think I would've
gotten through my social anxiety disorder

92
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,158
without a few late-night
discussions with Agent Mulder.

93
00:04:26,886 --> 00:04:29,782
It turns out the truth
was right in here.

94
00:04:32,121 --> 00:04:33,909
Apparently, Shatner's not available.

95
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:34,989
He's being knighted.

96
00:04:35,298 --> 00:04:36,706
Well, thanks for trying, Abe.

97
00:04:36,864 --> 00:04:37,891
Oh, it's not over yet.

98
00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:43,565
I am not going to rest until a classic
TV star puts Hal's spirit at ease.

99
00:05:02,352 --> 00:05:06,665
I know you didn't love him, but
this is a funeral. Don't you care?

100
00:05:06,729 --> 00:05:07,321
You kidding?

101
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,445
About this guy?

102
00:05:08,573 --> 00:05:09,747
We weren't even close.

103
00:05:14,542 --> 00:05:15,142
Check it out.

104
00:05:16,372 --> 00:05:17,265
Now I'm happy.

105
00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:19,034
Now I'm sad.

106
00:05:19,383 --> 00:05:20,666
Oh, now I'm happy.

107
00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:22,147
Boo-hoo, now I'm...

108
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,346
sad...

109
00:05:24,352 --> 00:05:26,736
Hey, dead guy, why
are you hitting yourself?

110
00:05:27,525 --> 00:05:29,050
Who knew we could
have fun with Dad?

111
00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:30,859
That's who that is?

112
00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:33,017
I thought it was, like,
a math teacher or something.

113
00:05:33,172 --> 00:05:34,507
Why aren't you sad?

114
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:39,015
Why aren't you throwing yourselves
on my coffin and begging
to be buried instead of me?

115
00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:42,661
Are you guys feeling as little as I am?

116
00:05:42,886 --> 00:05:44,695
I felt sadder when my wart fell off.

117
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:48,151
I guess he just didn't make much of an
impression on us when he was alive.

118
00:05:50,782 --> 00:05:51,264
Boys...

119
00:05:51,783 --> 00:05:52,809
Boys, don't go.

120
00:05:56,692 --> 00:05:59,296
Dewey, you always loved me.

121
00:06:05,411 --> 00:06:06,704
No, boys!

122
00:06:07,546 --> 00:06:08,639
Don't you miss me?

123
00:06:09,262 --> 00:06:10,285
I miss me.

124
00:06:26,366 --> 00:06:28,583
Wake up, boys! You don't
want breakfast to melt!

125
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,355
Ice cream?

126
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:33,278
Last time I checked, you can't
have a sundae bar without it.

127
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,090
Wake up, Malcolm.

128
00:06:39,751 --> 00:06:42,019
Dad... it's 5:00 in the morning.

129
00:06:42,059 --> 00:06:45,069
Well, I couldn't sleep until my sons
are as happy as I can make them.

130
00:06:45,256 --> 00:06:48,158
Today's special, every
scoop comes with a hug!

131
00:06:49,728 --> 00:06:50,874
And it doesn't stop here.

132
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:55,406
We've got a full day of pick-up basketball
in the park, a barbecue, more ice cream,

133
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,843
then I thought we'd take a nap underneath
a tree, and then catch fireflies.

134
00:06:58,978 --> 00:06:59,716
What about school?

135
00:06:59,742 --> 00:07:00,697
I've got that covered.

136
00:07:00,938 --> 00:07:03,365
Please excuse my son.
He has... the flu...

137
00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:05,239
explosive diarrhea...

138
00:07:05,255 --> 00:07:06,499
a rare bone disease...

139
00:07:06,543 --> 00:07:07,862
We may have to get you a cane.

140
00:07:07,946 --> 00:07:08,414
Cool!

141
00:07:08,801 --> 00:07:09,509
Does Mom know?

142
00:07:09,532 --> 00:07:12,251
Please, will you let me worry
about your mom, okay?

143
00:07:12,825 --> 00:07:13,970
Seriously, though, don't tell her.

144
00:07:14,124 --> 00:07:14,413
Now,

145
00:07:14,871 --> 00:07:16,345
who wants a ride on top of the car?

146
00:07:16,998 --> 00:07:19,160
Abe, I appreciate what you're
trying to do, but I'm not sure...

147
00:07:19,161 --> 00:07:22,274
Lois, do you know what it cost me to
get Leonard Nimoy's private number?

148
00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,353
Ferengi noses don't grow on trees.

149
00:07:24,398 --> 00:07:25,575
-Let's just...
-It's ringing!

150
00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:28,016
Hello?

151
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:29,247
Mr. Nimoy?

152
00:07:29,551 --> 00:07:30,178
This is he.

153
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:34,861
We apologize for disturbing an
important man like yourself.

154
00:07:35,283 --> 00:07:37,579
But my friend's father just died,

155
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:43,259
and he could use some sage
advice from a learned actor-
director-poet-photographer-vocalist.

156
00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:47,021
I'm sorry, but in Star Trek II:
The Wrath of Khan,

157
00:07:47,229 --> 00:07:50,061
was Ricardo Montalban the
gentlemen he seems to be?

158
00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:52,039
Because a little birdy told me...

159
00:07:52,053 --> 00:07:52,557
Abe!

160
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:53,942
I'd be happy to help your friend.

161
00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:56,596
It's very sad when
a man loses his father.

162
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,585
I've been through loss myself.

163
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,756
Oh, that's very kind of you, Mr. Nimoy.

164
00:08:02,622 --> 00:08:03,631
I'm his wife.

165
00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:06,194
So will this be charged
to your credit card?

166
00:08:07,536 --> 00:08:07,981
What?

167
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:11,060
Well, that's eight dollars a minute
for the Nimoy, and for another five,

168
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:13,476
I'll leave an outgoing message
on your answering machine as...

169
00:08:13,496 --> 00:08:14,533
Mr. Bob Hope!

170
00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:19,270
How about that Brooke Shields?
She's got legs that go all the way down
to the ground that I've got to tell you...

171
00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:21,126
Nimoy's Bob Hope is great.

172
00:08:21,139 --> 00:08:23,105
Is there nothing the man can't do?

173
00:08:27,651 --> 00:08:27,975
Hey.

174
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:29,418
You doing okay?

175
00:08:29,744 --> 00:08:32,252
Oh, yeah, you know, I'll
drop the kids off at school,

176
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,946
maybe look through a photo album.

177
00:08:33,999 --> 00:08:35,887
Well, that's what
bereavement days are for.

178
00:08:36,962 --> 00:08:37,555
I love you.

179
00:08:37,689 --> 00:08:38,535
I love you, too.

180
00:08:48,651 --> 00:08:49,072
Okay.

181
00:08:51,215 --> 00:08:52,887
I've got clear shot
to the refrigerator.

182
00:08:52,930 --> 00:08:53,695
Who's gonna stop me?

183
00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:57,685
Nice.

184
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,429
Pudding!

185
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:48,429
It's your mother!

186
00:09:49,910 --> 00:09:50,525
Hurry up.

187
00:09:56,159 --> 00:09:57,127
Oh, hi, honey.

188
00:09:58,792 --> 00:10:00,160
God, I hate school.

189
00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:02,270
What's to eat in this dump?

190
00:10:04,664 --> 00:10:05,534
Good night, boys.

191
00:10:06,136 --> 00:10:06,679
Good night, Dad.

192
00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:07,484
What a day.

193
00:10:07,548 --> 00:10:08,548
Memorable, huh?

194
00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:12,859
And if you thought today was fun,
tomorrow's gonna make it look like garbage.

195
00:10:14,296 --> 00:10:14,781
Quick question.

196
00:10:15,435 --> 00:10:17,619
If I died in my sleep
tonight, who'd be sad?

197
00:10:17,662 --> 00:10:18,297
-I would!
-Me! Me!

198
00:10:20,977 --> 00:10:22,601
Sure. Of course we'd be sad.

199
00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:24,469
You boys have just earned some s'mores.

200
00:10:24,576 --> 00:10:25,334
Back in a jiff.

201
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:27,495
Wait, Dad.

202
00:10:29,459 --> 00:10:30,437
You don't have to do this.

203
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,663
I think I know what's going on.
If you want to talk about stuff...

204
00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:38,944
Malcolm, all I'm interested in
right now is filling your bellies
with marshmallowy goodness.

205
00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:39,952
-But, Dad...
-Don't worry.

206
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:41,611
I'll make yours double thick.

207
00:10:43,448 --> 00:10:44,617
This is so awesome.

208
00:10:44,698 --> 00:10:48,948
Yeah. I don't know what alien
worm burrowed into Dad's brain,
but I'd like to shake its hand.

209
00:10:49,268 --> 00:10:50,583
Don't you guys see what's going on?

210
00:10:50,861 --> 00:10:52,240
This is all because of Grandpa.

211
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:55,165
Ever since he died, Dad's been feeling
bad because he doesn't miss him enough.

212
00:10:55,207 --> 00:10:57,379
So now he's trying to
compensate by bonding with us.

213
00:10:57,487 --> 00:10:59,784
That's just a lot of fancy language
for all-you-can-eat s'mores.

214
00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:01,449
This isn't fun and games, Reese.

215
00:11:01,671 --> 00:11:03,219
He's got a real emotional problem.

216
00:11:07,039 --> 00:11:09,045
You think Dad could really be
doing this to buy our love?

217
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,046
I guess.

218
00:11:12,425 --> 00:11:13,978
I say we squeeze him for all he's got.

219
00:11:14,454 --> 00:11:15,724
It's the least we could do for him.

220
00:11:21,155 --> 00:11:21,773
Where's Dad?

221
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,216
It was weird.

222
00:11:23,568 --> 00:11:26,116
I got up early this morning and
found him sitting at the kitchen table

223
00:11:26,141 --> 00:11:29,041
looking at a picture of him and Grandpa
with this peaceful smile on his face.

224
00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:29,453
Really?

225
00:11:29,603 --> 00:11:30,011
Yeah.

226
00:11:30,036 --> 00:11:31,946
Then he said he really worked
some things out last night.

227
00:11:32,323 --> 00:11:33,585
And then he just
took off for work.

228
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:37,003
Hey, get your greedy
mitts off my lunch!

229
00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:38,594
I was just moving it
to get to my lunch.

230
00:11:39,789 --> 00:11:40,426
What lunch?

231
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:41,975
Later.

232
00:11:42,824 --> 00:11:43,403
Oh, God.

233
00:11:44,213 --> 00:11:45,197
Get off me.

234
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:51,584
Found you!

235
00:11:53,054 --> 00:11:55,318
Well, you have to admit it was
a pretty good hiding place.

236
00:11:55,407 --> 00:11:57,086
I was in there for over an hour.

237
00:11:57,144 --> 00:11:57,757
I helped.

238
00:11:57,865 --> 00:11:59,347
And you should share the prize.

239
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:00,651
Hey, where's Malcolm?

240
00:12:00,959 --> 00:12:01,868
He had to go to school.

241
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,347
Yeah, he said this was stupid.

242
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:07,156
Too bad. I guess he
misses out on Motocross!

243
00:12:07,158 --> 00:12:08,148
Sweet!

244
00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:10,131
I mean,

245
00:12:11,004 --> 00:12:12,180
I guess it's okay.

246
00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:14,395
Come on. It'll be better than yesterday.

247
00:12:14,779 --> 00:12:15,599
What was yesterday?

248
00:12:16,216 --> 00:12:17,569
I can't quite remember.
Can you, Dewey?

249
00:12:18,269 --> 00:12:19,888
I knocked you into pudding.

250
00:12:21,768 --> 00:12:23,775
I guess the problem with
memories is that they fade.

251
00:12:24,045 --> 00:12:27,151
Especially in the minds of young
people that are scrambled with
video games and death metal.

252
00:12:27,555 --> 00:12:29,112
I can barely remember my own name.

253
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,131
Hey, you know what doesn't fade?

254
00:12:31,736 --> 00:12:32,418
Things.

255
00:12:32,821 --> 00:12:33,746
Like these pants.

256
00:12:34,082 --> 00:12:37,193
I can still remember the crisp September
day when Mom gave them to us.

257
00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:39,622
She had a little lipstick
on her upper tooth.

258
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,802
-Her eyes crinkled...
-She smelled like lilacs.

259
00:12:42,806 --> 00:12:43,693
Hey, you know what?

260
00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:45,286
I can get you things.

261
00:12:46,284 --> 00:12:46,917
I don't know.

262
00:12:47,397 --> 00:12:49,332
You'd have to drive us to some
kind of mall or something.

263
00:12:49,343 --> 00:12:50,610
You boys go get in the car.

264
00:12:50,915 --> 00:12:53,450
I'm going to call the credit card
company and have them up my limit.

265
00:12:53,595 --> 00:12:54,221
Taken care of.

266
00:12:58,002 --> 00:12:58,723
Nice.

267
00:13:00,311 --> 00:13:02,897
It's just a shame I'll have to
catch it with a dirty mitt.

268
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:11,500
I want to remember how great you
are in spring, summer, fall...

269
00:13:11,674 --> 00:13:12,744
and winter, too.

270
00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:16,962
Wow, Dad, you buy out
the whole store?

271
00:13:17,357 --> 00:13:18,802
No one's got a better dad than us.

272
00:13:20,574 --> 00:13:22,098
Except Joe Garoogian.

273
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:23,114
Dewey!

274
00:13:23,322 --> 00:13:25,238
You don't deserve to
remember how good Dad is.

275
00:13:25,711 --> 00:13:27,894
You only deserve to remember
me whacking the crap out of you.

276
00:13:28,011 --> 00:13:29,394
Not so fast, Reese.

277
00:13:29,403 --> 00:13:30,823
The boy's just being honest.

278
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:35,128
Now tell me, what is it about
this Joe's father that's so great?

279
00:13:35,269 --> 00:13:37,637
His dad's vice president
of an electronics company.

280
00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:41,355
He can get any type of TV,
video game or stereo he wants.

281
00:13:41,648 --> 00:13:43,254
Is there an electronics
store near here?

282
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,302
Tech Boys on Willow.

283
00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,360
Price Town's closer, but
they have crap for high-def.

284
00:13:53,897 --> 00:13:56,620
I've got something for Hal
that I think may do the trick.

285
00:13:57,331 --> 00:13:59,283
Abe, I thought we were done with this.

286
00:13:59,368 --> 00:14:02,566
I thought we were, too,
Lois, until 3:00 this morning,

287
00:14:02,596 --> 00:14:07,005
when I found myself in a collectibles
auction site and saw this baby.

288
00:14:10,322 --> 00:14:14,547
Yes, it's a Vulcan lyre with ten
preprogrammed Christmas carols.

289
00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:21,358
Abe, I'm sorry. I know you're trying to
help, but this is not what Hal needs.

290
00:14:22,808 --> 00:14:23,424
You're right.

291
00:14:24,212 --> 00:14:27,984
I guess I got carried away
and lost sight of what got
us started in the first place...

292
00:14:28,487 --> 00:14:31,516
to hook Hal up with a member
of the original cast of Star Trek.

293
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,849
That's not what got this started.

294
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,850
Abe, Hal's father died.

295
00:14:34,853 --> 00:14:36,849
And I will not let him die in vain.

296
00:14:37,232 --> 00:14:38,211
I will call Sulu.

297
00:14:38,636 --> 00:14:40,063
I will call Chekhov.

298
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,324
And if they say no, so help me,

299
00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:44,528
I will call the Gorn.

300
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,610
Abe, stop, just stop.

301
00:14:46,787 --> 00:14:49,634
I appreciate your trying to help,
but I don't need any of this.

302
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:53,212
I'm going to take Hal to
a bed and breakfast for
a nice weekend, and that's it.

303
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:55,148
He just needs some emotional comfort.

304
00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:58,848
So you think a weekend of nurturing and
sex is going to get him through this?

305
00:14:59,318 --> 00:15:00,924
Do you even know this man?!

306
00:15:04,907 --> 00:15:06,056
What the hell's all this?

307
00:15:06,522 --> 00:15:08,416
Turns out Dad still has
some grieving left to do.

308
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:09,856
I can't believe you.

309
00:15:10,374 --> 00:15:12,395
You lied to me and you
totally took advantage of him.

310
00:15:12,422 --> 00:15:13,250
I don't see it that way.

311
00:15:13,936 --> 00:15:15,202
They say money can't buy love...

312
00:15:15,467 --> 00:15:16,182
but they're wrong.

313
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,806
I'm actually starting to love Dad.

314
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,540
Now I'm not saying somebody
couldn't come along and outbid him,

315
00:15:20,893 --> 00:15:22,126
but right now, he's the front-runner.

316
00:15:23,565 --> 00:15:24,587
You can't do this.

317
00:15:24,826 --> 00:15:25,647
This is wrong.

318
00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:27,407
You're giving all this back.

319
00:15:27,453 --> 00:15:29,173
Who are you to question his process?

320
00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:30,288
Reese, he's crazy.

321
00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:31,221
Mom's crazy.

322
00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:34,445
But she's the kind of crazy where all
she does is yell at us and punish.

323
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:38,111
Now Dad's crazy in a way
where he buys us an XBox 360.

324
00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:39,729
And you want to mess with that?

325
00:15:40,101 --> 00:15:41,624
You're just afraid
of happiness, Malcolm.

326
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,116
You can delude yourself all you want.

327
00:15:43,313 --> 00:15:45,474
-All this is going back to the store.
-Hey, give that back!

328
00:15:45,742 --> 00:15:47,610
-You had your chance!
-Reese, this is over!

329
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,446
This is the only good thing
that's ever happened around
here and you're ruining it!

330
00:15:50,457 --> 00:15:51,975
Boys! What are you doing?

331
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:53,802
Today's a happy day.

332
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:56,123
You're supposed to remember
this the rest of your lives.

333
00:15:56,199 --> 00:15:57,236
I need to talk to you, Dad.

334
00:15:57,241 --> 00:15:58,732
Dad, if you love us,
don't listen to him.

335
00:15:58,961 --> 00:16:00,365
Look at what you're doing.

336
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:01,908
Look at the money you're spending.

337
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,557
Look at the reason
why you're spending it.

338
00:16:03,842 --> 00:16:05,336
Something is very wrong.

339
00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:07,888
I hear you, Malcolm.

340
00:16:08,785 --> 00:16:13,290
I understand that things have
gotten a little unbalanced and,

341
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,906
-and I know what I need to do.
-Thank God.

342
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:18,793
I'm going to buy you a car.

343
00:16:22,122 --> 00:16:24,414
It's moments like this that
really define character.

344
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,531
I love you, Daddy!

345
00:16:29,772 --> 00:16:32,839
No, it's not our honeymoon, but
I would like the honeymoon suite.

346
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:34,979
What?

347
00:16:36,021 --> 00:16:37,758
No, that must be a mistake.

348
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,358
My credit card can't be
maxed out. I just paid the bill.

349
00:16:43,279 --> 00:16:44,610
Reese!

350
00:16:45,169 --> 00:16:46,038
Get me out of this.

351
00:16:54,784 --> 00:16:56,077
Malcolm's getting a car.

352
00:16:56,469 --> 00:16:58,919
We only did this so Dad wouldn't
buy us something more expensive.

353
00:17:00,946 --> 00:17:02,370
I miss Grandpa.

354
00:17:08,311 --> 00:17:09,234
I know this is wrong.

355
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,487
But somehow my body's not
doing anything to stop it.

356
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,843
Maybe that means at some level,
I don't even know it's wrong.

357
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:18,563
And if I don't know if it's wrong,
then I can't get blamed for doing it.

358
00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:19,327
Right?

359
00:17:20,268 --> 00:17:26,434
Now, a high-tech package comes
with a CG rearview imaging
system, a GPS and a DVD.

360
00:17:26,849 --> 00:17:29,190
I don't absolutely need a DVD player.

361
00:17:29,191 --> 00:17:30,827
Sure you do, Malcolm.

362
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:35,665
Every time you stop at a
red light, I want you watching
movies, thinking of your dad.

363
00:17:35,826 --> 00:17:36,641
What else have we got?

364
00:17:36,719 --> 00:17:37,852
Want to sports package?

365
00:17:38,575 --> 00:17:40,472
That's like asking if we want doors.

366
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:46,323
There it is, every option we offer,
including some I didn't even know about.

367
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,429
Floormats have undercoating.

368
00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:50,849
Comes with a 14-year warranty.

369
00:17:50,999 --> 00:17:52,271
We don't sell many of those.

370
00:17:52,851 --> 00:17:53,839
All it needs...

371
00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:56,016
is your signature.

372
00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:05,277
What?

373
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,023
My dad had the same pen.

374
00:18:08,601 --> 00:18:10,340
He must've been a great
guy. This is a great pen.

375
00:18:10,448 --> 00:18:12,356
We don't really need to
get into that right now.

376
00:18:12,394 --> 00:18:13,786
See, I just lost my dad.

377
00:18:14,447 --> 00:18:14,962
I'm sorry.

378
00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:20,713
Bet he would've loved to see his
grandson driving that sports pack.

379
00:18:23,892 --> 00:18:25,485
I don't know if he would have.

380
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,260
He was pretty emotionally distant.

381
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:30,793
He had a lot of trouble showing love.

382
00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:32,880
Yeah.

383
00:18:34,836 --> 00:18:35,696
Old-timers, eh?

384
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,979
But I didn't care.

385
00:18:40,555 --> 00:18:42,060
I didn't care if he had trouble.

386
00:18:45,947 --> 00:18:46,666
I loved him.

387
00:18:49,304 --> 00:18:50,224
He was my dad.

388
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:54,575
You know, I see that you're in
a lot of pain right now, and...

389
00:18:55,924 --> 00:19:00,658
I'm going to need some grief
counseling, too, if I let you take
me up on this offer I'm giving you.

390
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:04,861
I remember coming
downstairs in the morning,

391
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:07,638
and he would be at the table
and he would say, "Hey, buddy,

392
00:19:07,925 --> 00:19:09,194
I'm doing four things at once:

393
00:19:09,924 --> 00:19:11,014
I'm watching TV.

394
00:19:11,315 --> 00:19:12,690
I'm reading the newspaper.

395
00:19:12,867 --> 00:19:14,662
I'm drinking coffee,
and I'm talking to you."

396
00:19:16,296 --> 00:19:17,112
Isn't that amazing?

397
00:19:19,272 --> 00:19:22,803
You know, I got a guy whose wife
died who's looking at this car, so...

398
00:19:24,457 --> 00:19:26,255
He didn't have to do anything for me.

399
00:19:30,443 --> 00:19:31,577
He was my dad.

400
00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:34,855
Dad...

401
00:19:36,635 --> 00:19:38,386
You don't have to do
anything for me, either.

402
00:19:40,894 --> 00:19:41,947
But if you want to...

403
00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:43,742
that'd be great.

404
00:19:53,063 --> 00:19:54,594
I lost my dad.

405
00:19:56,731 --> 00:19:57,464
I know.

406
00:20:02,473 --> 00:20:03,905
You're a dead man.

407
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:12,564
Hello?

408
00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:14,676
I'm George Takei.

409
00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:16,785
I played Sulu on Star Trek.

410
00:20:17,272 --> 00:20:19,796
Did your grandfather die recently?

411
00:20:20,725 --> 00:20:21,142
Yes.

412
00:20:21,402 --> 00:20:23,971
Allow me to extend my
deepest condolences.

413
00:20:24,494 --> 00:20:27,883
I got a call from a neighbor that
your father might like to talk to me.

414
00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:32,316
And when I called back, the line
was busy. So I decided to come over.

415
00:20:32,803 --> 00:20:36,951
It was a six-hour bus
ride with a lot of stops.

416
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,772
May I have some water, please?

417
00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:42,024
Sorry, my parents aren't home.

418
00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:43,703
But you can use the hose out front.

419
00:20:43,987 --> 00:20:45,009
Delightful.

420
00:20:45,358 --> 00:20:49,378
If you don't mind, I'll make
camp on your front lawn in
anticipation of their return.

421
00:20:49,807 --> 00:20:52,691
Improvisation: my stock and trade.

422
00:20:52,916 --> 00:20:55,535
In episode 18, "The
Squire of Gothos,"

423
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,779
the script read, "the
crew ad-libs hello."

424
00:21:00,331 --> 00:21:03,386
Well, I was off to the races.

425
00:21:04,445 --> 00:21:06,372
Well, I've got a lot of homework.

426
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:11,421
Ooh, mushrooms!

427
00:21:11,958 --> 00:21:13,289
May I help myself?