Script VO Brut
* By www.tvsubtitles.net *
1
00:00:09,546 --> 00:00:10,011
Dewey.
2
00:00:10,764 --> 00:00:11,901
Is that what I think it is?
3
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:17,177
You know the rules about
animals in the house.
4
00:00:17,197 --> 00:00:18,961
Okay, okay, I'll get rid of it.
5
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:43,160
Malcolm in the Middle
7.20 - "Cattle Court"
6
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:54,160
Synchronisation par Tyno,
Script original par Raceman.
7
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:05,160
Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk
& Malcolm-France.com
8
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:15,124
And we can all thank Reese for the wonderful
dinner he brought home from work.
9
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,913
Oh, way to go, son.
10
00:01:17,428 --> 00:01:20,552
And someday, all that toner I keep
bringing home will come in handy, too.
11
00:01:20,828 --> 00:01:24,078
So, what's new and exciting down
at the old meat packing plant?
12
00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:24,748
Tons.
13
00:01:24,856 --> 00:01:26,967
They have me back on the
floor where all the action is.
14
00:01:27,157 --> 00:01:29,085
And they upgraded to
the new Slaughter-Bot.
15
00:01:29,439 --> 00:01:32,740
Now it has six chainsaw arms, and it
doesn't get jammed on the horns anymore.
16
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,906
You people wonder why I wake
up screaming all the time.
17
00:01:38,311 --> 00:01:39,497
Dig in, everybody.
18
00:01:43,475 --> 00:01:45,232
What kind of meat is that?
19
00:01:45,361 --> 00:01:46,072
Don't knock it.
20
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,351
This is the stuff that keeps
the cow from falling apart.
21
00:01:51,452 --> 00:01:55,075
So, Malcolm, you have any exciting plans
for when you're grounded this weekend?
22
00:01:55,557 --> 00:01:57,440
You gonna alphabetize all
the stuff in your closet?
23
00:01:58,014 --> 00:02:00,650
Or you can update all those exciting
new countries onto your globe.
24
00:02:01,877 --> 00:02:06,092
Hey, you could finally give the corns on
your feet the attention they deserve.
25
00:02:06,148 --> 00:02:07,501
It's bad enough
you're punishing me.
26
00:02:07,816 --> 00:02:09,574
You don't have to mock me
while I'm so miserable.
27
00:02:10,368 --> 00:02:11,998
I am so happy.
28
00:02:12,312 --> 00:02:14,930
I'm sneaking out to a concert Friday
night while Mom works the late shift.
29
00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:17,170
The band sucks,
but I have backstage passes.
30
00:02:17,456 --> 00:02:21,265
And if that's even one-billionth as insane
as I've always imagined it, I can die happy.
31
00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:23,065
Well...
32
00:02:24,946 --> 00:02:26,100
I couldn't eat another bite.
33
00:02:26,206 --> 00:02:31,347
The pay channels seem to be
on an unusually low scramble
tonight, so if you'll all excuse me.
34
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:34,200
Dad?
35
00:02:37,179 --> 00:02:37,653
What's this?
36
00:02:38,353 --> 00:02:41,158
"This coupon entitles you to
one free game night with Dad."
37
00:02:41,175 --> 00:02:41,780
Let's go.
38
00:02:41,983 --> 00:02:47,019
Dewey, I wrote this in a blind panic
in the hall closet while everyone
was singing you "Happy Birthday."
39
00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:49,629
You're not gonna hold
me to this, are you?
40
00:02:51,948 --> 00:02:53,129
Does it have an expiration date?
41
00:02:53,138 --> 00:02:53,408
No.
42
00:02:54,112 --> 00:02:54,813
Listen, I'll tell you what.
43
00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:58,860
In exchange for this, I'll give you two
coupons good for future services.
44
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,504
What kind of pack rat are you?
45
00:03:02,537 --> 00:03:04,224
Don't you ever throw anything away?
46
00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:06,524
All right, fine!
47
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:07,127
Let's go.
48
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:11,112
And I'll start burning through some
of these free hugs. I don't need
them hanging over my head.
49
00:03:45,856 --> 00:03:48,511
I'm sorry, ma'am,
I can't sell you that box.
50
00:03:48,873 --> 00:03:49,790
It's damaged.
51
00:03:49,799 --> 00:03:51,263
I don't see any damage.
52
00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:57,522
Thank you for choosing Lucky Aide.
53
00:03:57,942 --> 00:04:00,139
Craig, I need you to cover
my Friday night shift.
54
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,092
There's a lifetime movie I want to see.
55
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:05,621
Heather Locklear is a welfare
mom trying to get her kids back.
56
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:06,177
Friday?
57
00:04:06,356 --> 00:04:07,762
I wouldn't want you to miss that, Lois.
58
00:04:07,996 --> 00:04:09,751
I cried my eyes out at the part where...
59
00:04:09,753 --> 00:04:10,398
Shh!
60
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:11,807
Right. We'll talk later.
61
00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,475
Craig, how could you
let her do that to you?
62
00:04:15,657 --> 00:04:18,874
I would have totally spilled the
romance with the hunky social worker.
63
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,597
No. Why do you let her
push you around like that?
64
00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:22,227
She didn't even ask.
65
00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:25,711
She just assumed that you'd
have nothing better to do than
to pick up her crappy shifts.
66
00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:26,997
That's not right.
67
00:04:27,063 --> 00:04:28,206
She does this all the time.
68
00:04:28,332 --> 00:04:31,845
She takes advantage of you without
any consideration of your feelings.
69
00:04:31,944 --> 00:04:32,853
Doesn't that upset you?
70
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,069
I guess I am a little cheesed off.
71
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:35,852
There you go.
72
00:04:36,098 --> 00:04:38,350
I knew you were too much of
a man to let her get away with this.
73
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:42,360
You're gonna show her that Craig
Feldspar can't be pushed around.
74
00:04:42,603 --> 00:04:44,658
Thank you, Malcolm,
for opening my eyes.
75
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:48,158
You've awoken a sleeping
giant, and he's very cranky.
76
00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:53,447
Six, seven,
77
00:04:53,782 --> 00:04:55,775
eight, nine, ten.
78
00:04:56,032 --> 00:04:56,555
I win.
79
00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:59,804
Wow, I smoked you again, Dad.
80
00:05:00,532 --> 00:05:02,137
Looks like I'm just better
at life than you.
81
00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:03,071
Good for you, Dewey.
82
00:05:03,466 --> 00:05:06,280
But I hope you know that this isn't
how things work in the real world.
83
00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:08,380
It's very oversimplified.
84
00:05:10,094 --> 00:05:15,403
I mean, you can't just break into a zoo,
roll a couple of elevens and suddenly
become the dean of a university.
85
00:05:15,435 --> 00:05:15,820
I did.
86
00:05:17,562 --> 00:05:19,952
Son, I'm just trying to give
you a life lesson here.
87
00:05:20,995 --> 00:05:24,225
Yes, that's my orange limo
sitting at the finish line, isn't it?
88
00:05:24,978 --> 00:05:25,580
Interesting.
89
00:05:29,391 --> 00:05:31,268
Dewey goes straight to
bed with no dessert.
90
00:05:33,278 --> 00:05:33,673
Interesting.
91
00:05:39,014 --> 00:05:40,855
Here's your seat, Reese...
all warmed up.
92
00:05:40,988 --> 00:05:42,610
And a low-carb lunch
just like you asked for.
93
00:05:42,712 --> 00:05:43,231
No, thanks.
94
00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:44,413
I brought my own lunch today.
95
00:05:48,459 --> 00:05:48,893
What?
96
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,611
You can't have blood sausage
without the blood, can you?
97
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:53,544
You'd better get moving.
98
00:05:53,576 --> 00:05:55,798
I have science next period,
and those lab stools are freezing.
99
00:05:57,417 --> 00:05:58,444
Is it okay if I sit here?
100
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,049
This is on a dare, huh?
101
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,670
If you have to touch me,
I'm okay with that,
102
00:06:05,725 --> 00:06:07,332
but I have to approve any photographs.
103
00:06:07,393 --> 00:06:11,460
No, it's just that I couldn't sit and watch
kids eating the flesh of murdered animals.
104
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,002
Is that the special?
105
00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:14,429
Is that why you're sitting alone?
106
00:06:15,055 --> 00:06:16,399
Are you a vegetarian, too?
107
00:06:18,516 --> 00:06:19,745
Yes, I am.
108
00:06:20,317 --> 00:06:23,407
The very thought of eating meat
makes my taste buds cry in disgust.
109
00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:26,369
I just thought I was the only one.
110
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:27,707
You're not alone.
111
00:06:32,802 --> 00:06:34,738
-Hi. How are you doing?
-Hi.
112
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:36,246
So, Craig,
113
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,817
did you tell my mom that you couldn't
cover her shift for her Friday night?
114
00:06:38,919 --> 00:06:41,266
Oh, I think I did far better than that.
115
00:06:41,679 --> 00:06:41,974
Huh?
116
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:45,307
Patience, my friend.
My trap is about to spring.
117
00:06:46,695 --> 00:06:48,288
This stupid pen doesn't work.
118
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,000
I was up all night scribbling with it.
119
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,775
Watch her face as her whole
world comes crumbling down.
120
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,030
Okay, I didn't see that coming.
121
00:07:01,101 --> 00:07:01,805
But who would?
122
00:07:02,066 --> 00:07:04,753
That's it? That's what you
did to get back at her?
123
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:10,505
Relax, Malcolm. That is just the first
course in my tasty menu of revenge.
124
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:15,100
That was supposed to stick.
125
00:07:16,032 --> 00:07:19,667
Don't worry, her finger
sponge is as dry as a bone.
126
00:07:24,806 --> 00:07:25,280
Dad?
127
00:07:26,302 --> 00:07:28,192
What's going on?
I got your message at school.
128
00:07:29,087 --> 00:07:29,924
Is everything okay?
129
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,646
Everything's about to be.
130
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:32,862
Have a seat.
131
00:07:37,105 --> 00:07:39,430
You pulled me out of a math
test to play a game with you?
132
00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:42,110
This is much more important
than some useless math test.
133
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:45,715
I have to make sure that you
understand you got lucky last time.
134
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,360
Life won't always go your way, Dewey.
135
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,352
And the sooner you learn
that lesson, the better.
136
00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:50,842
Sit down.
137
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:52,636
Sit.
138
00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:58,046
"You study hard and
become an astronaut."
139
00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,434
All right.
140
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:00,994
Wha... ?!
141
00:08:03,474 --> 00:08:07,356
What... what kind of lesson is
this stupid game teaching you?!
142
00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:11,375
Where's the card that tells
you your hemorrhoids are not
covered by your health plan, huh?!
143
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,976
Oh, would that not
make a fun game?
144
00:08:18,675 --> 00:08:21,429
Hey, Malcolm. Did you know that
henna parties were so last year?
145
00:08:21,695 --> 00:08:22,545
I had no clue.
146
00:08:22,982 --> 00:08:26,174
Craig, I just checked the schedule
and it still says that you're covering
for my mom Friday night.
147
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,686
I thought you were going
to do something about that.
148
00:08:27,792 --> 00:08:29,352
Oh, I think she suffered enough.
149
00:08:29,935 --> 00:08:32,840
Her name tag's been on
upside down all night.
150
00:08:33,297 --> 00:08:34,966
Craig, don't you want
to be taken seriously?
151
00:08:35,738 --> 00:08:36,763
I'm taken seriously.
152
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:37,699
No, you're not.
153
00:08:38,086 --> 00:08:39,272
Especially not by my mom.
154
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:41,411
She has nothing but complete
and utter contempt for you.
155
00:08:42,025 --> 00:08:42,925
That's not true.
156
00:08:43,204 --> 00:08:47,895
Oh, yeah? She said the reason she ever
makes eye-contact with you is because
the rest of you is too hard to look at.
157
00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:49,047
She did?
158
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,096
And you think she doesn't know
that her name tag's upside down?
159
00:08:52,287 --> 00:08:54,481
Of course she does.
She just doesn't care,
160
00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:56,714
because it was only Craig
the doormat who did it.
161
00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:57,965
You mean nothing to her.
162
00:08:58,230 --> 00:08:59,194
Nothing at all.
163
00:08:59,615 --> 00:09:00,918
You have to stand up to her.
164
00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:02,757
For once in your life,
Craig, be a man!
165
00:09:02,851 --> 00:09:03,585
I hate her!
166
00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:12,488
Okay, so I lied and destroyed
a man so I could go to a concert.
167
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,675
I'll get him a T-shirt.
168
00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:22,712
There.
169
00:09:22,922 --> 00:09:26,384
I've just got to remember third, fourth
and ninth leaves and every other tomato.
170
00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:29,821
I don't understand wou can't just
eat vegetarian for one meal.
171
00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:32,233
You know I get my headaches
if I go too long without meat.
172
00:09:32,761 --> 00:09:35,452
And you don't see lying
to Carrie as a problem?
173
00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:38,684
Come on, Dewey, tell me how this is
any different than her wearing makeup?
174
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,249
It's not about me it's
about her fantasy of me.
175
00:09:41,459 --> 00:09:43,205
And I owe it to her to
live up to that fantasy.
176
00:09:44,504 --> 00:09:45,338
Now hand me that stapler.
177
00:09:54,564 --> 00:09:55,473
This is amazing.
178
00:09:56,104 --> 00:09:58,342
Isn't it great finding someone
with the same values?
179
00:09:58,486 --> 00:09:59,276
Exactly.
180
00:09:59,651 --> 00:10:01,291
We couldn't be more
on the same page.
181
00:10:10,212 --> 00:10:11,563
Hey, give me back my hat!
182
00:10:11,659 --> 00:10:13,112
You want your hat
back, come and get it.
183
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:14,751
Oh. Oh, no.
184
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,203
Hey, look at those gorgeous dogs.
185
00:10:22,209 --> 00:10:23,279
Who gives a crap?
186
00:10:24,614 --> 00:10:25,760
I mean, except us.
187
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,757
When is America going to finally
realize that dogs are not our enemy?
188
00:10:31,958 --> 00:10:33,728
Wow, they really love you.
189
00:10:34,638 --> 00:10:36,388
Yeah. This happens all the time.
190
00:10:36,609 --> 00:10:38,759
I guess they can smell
that I really love animals.
191
00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:41,091
Get out of here,
you mangy bastards!
192
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,830
What? What's wrong, Reese?
193
00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:49,277
Hey, you know what I realize?
194
00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:50,743
That is not my hat.
195
00:10:51,076 --> 00:10:52,132
What are you talking about?
196
00:10:52,157 --> 00:10:54,394
Some crazy guy just shoved
it of my head and took off.
197
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,155
I have no idea what's inside of it!
198
00:10:58,621 --> 00:11:00,374
Oh, my God, is this bacon?!
199
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,063
That's not mine, I swear!
200
00:11:02,305 --> 00:11:03,238
I've been set up!
201
00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:05,838
And that is not my pork chop!
202
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,012
Oh, my God, the conspiracy
goes all the way to the top!
203
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:22,743
What are you doing?
204
00:11:22,823 --> 00:11:28,822
Trying to instill in Dewey the values
sadly neglected by Mr. Milton Bradley
in those cowardly Parker Brothers.
205
00:11:29,197 --> 00:11:32,061
I mean, how does kids are supposed
to learn about how life really works?
206
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,208
Non from that G-rated fairy tale.
207
00:11:34,722 --> 00:11:38,545
You can't just play a "Joy In The
Circus" card and walk away scot-free.
208
00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:40,288
"Found A Tumor?"
209
00:11:40,323 --> 00:11:42,010
That takes you to the Chemo Spinner.
210
00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:45,770
Oh, come on, Carrie, you've got to
get over this vegetarian hang up.
211
00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,667
You can't honestly tell me
those animals were innocent.
212
00:11:47,903 --> 00:11:49,520
They were sent to the
slaughterhouse for a reason.
213
00:11:49,949 --> 00:11:53,145
And if you don't think they're
planning some kind of uprising,
you're just aluding yourself.
214
00:11:54,646 --> 00:11:55,010
Hello?
215
00:11:57,228 --> 00:11:58,742
She didn't have an answer
to that one, did she?
216
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,021
Malcolm, do you know what's
going on with Craig?
217
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,045
No. Why?
218
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,961
He left this bizarre weepy message
on the answering machine.
219
00:12:09,536 --> 00:12:11,403
I mean, it's more bizarre
and weepy than usual.
220
00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:13,213
Did something upset him at work?
221
00:12:14,155 --> 00:12:15,078
Oh, right.
222
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:19,065
I think they switched from cylindrical-shape
ice cream scoopers to the conical ones.
223
00:12:19,469 --> 00:12:20,493
He took it really hard.
224
00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:24,712
I'm going out to play.
225
00:12:24,979 --> 00:12:29,288
Oh, sorry, son, but you
are staying in to play.
226
00:12:40,122 --> 00:12:41,778
-That's him!
-He's the murderer!
227
00:12:41,786 --> 00:12:42,827
What?! No!
228
00:12:43,081 --> 00:12:44,816
He ate my husband!
229
00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:46,799
He deep-fried my parents!
230
00:12:47,554 --> 00:12:48,006
Order!
231
00:12:48,381 --> 00:12:49,794
Order in my court.
232
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,032
Let's behave like animals, people.
233
00:12:52,318 --> 00:12:56,827
Your Honor, the defendant is charged
with 63,428 counts of murder!
234
00:12:57,249 --> 00:12:57,731
What?!
235
00:12:58,058 --> 00:12:59,831
Each count is by the slice!
236
00:13:00,187 --> 00:13:02,138
It's not my fault
you're all so delicious!
237
00:13:02,806 --> 00:13:04,337
This isn't fair.
Say something.
238
00:13:08,425 --> 00:13:09,911
That's not what you
said in the hallway.
239
00:13:11,896 --> 00:13:13,683
I didn't do anything wrong!
240
00:13:13,896 --> 00:13:15,203
Didn't do anything wrong?
241
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,714
Your Honor, I'd like to
present some evidence.
242
00:13:18,109 --> 00:13:20,897
I warn you, these photographs
are extremely graphic.
243
00:13:25,828 --> 00:13:27,782
What? That's just my breakfast.
244
00:13:35,658 --> 00:13:36,802
Is anybody else getting hungry?
245
00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:41,477
Your Honor, the defendant obviously
shows no remorse for his crimes.
246
00:13:41,837 --> 00:13:42,883
I've heard enough.
247
00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:45,145
You make me sick to my stomachs.
248
00:13:45,529 --> 00:13:46,766
I say he's guilty.
249
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,551
How does the jury find?
250
00:13:49,018 --> 00:13:50,810
Guilty!
251
00:13:50,973 --> 00:13:51,772
That's not fair.
252
00:13:52,054 --> 00:13:53,774
They're just following you like sheep.
253
00:13:54,258 --> 00:13:57,683
You have been found guilty
by a jury of your food.
254
00:13:58,273 --> 00:14:04,415
I sentence you to be lightly seared and
served with a Cajun peppercorn sauce.
255
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:28,964
Well, Dewey, looks like you pulled
another "Debilitating Depression" card.
256
00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:32,102
Back to the lockdown
ward for you, my friend.
257
00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:34,002
Dad, we've been playing all night.
258
00:14:34,552 --> 00:14:35,349
Can't we stop?
259
00:14:35,487 --> 00:14:38,701
That is exactly what I'm
trying to teach you, son.
260
00:14:39,059 --> 00:14:41,412
You can't just quit
when things get tough.
261
00:14:42,158 --> 00:14:49,743
You have to grind it out day after day after
day to feed your kids, to pay your mortgage.
262
00:14:50,735 --> 00:14:52,294
That's how real life works.
263
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:55,527
Unless, of course, you
pull the "Suicide" card.
264
00:14:57,124 --> 00:14:58,640
But there's very few
of those in the deck.
265
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,845
Well, my turn.
266
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:03,912
Oh, morning, Reese.
267
00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:06,050
I'm making sausage for
breakfast, your favorite.
268
00:15:06,177 --> 00:15:06,650
No way!
269
00:15:06,876 --> 00:15:07,950
You can't pin that on me!
270
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:08,860
I'm innocent!
271
00:15:08,961 --> 00:15:09,977
I'm innocent, you hear!
272
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,102
Craig, what are you doing here?
273
00:15:16,909 --> 00:15:19,124
Just stopped in to say my good-byes.
274
00:15:19,955 --> 00:15:20,757
Good-bye?
275
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,335
Yup, quit my job at Lucky Aide,
276
00:15:22,809 --> 00:15:26,003
bought a little secondhand Vesper
and I'm about to hit the road.
277
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:26,549
What?
278
00:15:26,564 --> 00:15:27,098
That's right.
279
00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:32,089
I'm going to finally fulfill my
dream of eating a Swedish
pancake in every IHOP in America.
280
00:15:32,321 --> 00:15:35,101
It's only been done twice, you know,
and one of those was undocumented.
281
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:37,485
Craig, that's crazy.
Why are you doing this?
282
00:15:37,505 --> 00:15:39,613
Oh, you know, it's
the same old story.
283
00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:43,359
Girlfriend crowding me, too many
friends jockeying for face time.
284
00:15:43,487 --> 00:15:44,819
A man needs his freedom, Lois.
285
00:15:44,908 --> 00:15:45,735
What more can I say?
286
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,853
Anyways, I won't be able to cover
your Friday night shift after all.
287
00:15:50,571 --> 00:15:52,799
I know this is all my fault, but
maybe this will be good for him.
288
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,488
He's made a realistic
decision to evaluate his life.
289
00:15:55,961 --> 00:15:56,828
How can that be bad?
290
00:15:56,845 --> 00:15:59,356
I don't have much money,
but I've got my banjo.
291
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,505
I figure I'd pay for
my meals with songs,
292
00:16:01,745 --> 00:16:03,604
the kindness of strangers
should take care of the rest.
293
00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:07,005
Well, then I guess it's good-bye.
294
00:16:07,471 --> 00:16:10,837
You know I've never been
really big on the sissy stuff,
so I'd better just haul tush.
295
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:20,069
I wasn't going to say anything
until he got to the banjo stuff,
296
00:16:20,803 --> 00:16:22,349
but he'll be dead before sundown.
297
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,726
Mom, I think there's
something you should know.
298
00:16:26,322 --> 00:16:28,832
Remember last week when you asked
Craig to cover for you on the schedule?
299
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:32,201
You ruined his life so you
could go see some band?!
300
00:16:32,496 --> 00:16:33,914
Are you that selfish?
301
00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:37,437
Apparently, because there's a part
of me hoping you'll still let me go.
302
00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:40,558
Okay, that part's gone.
303
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,515
Get in the car!
We got to go find him!
304
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:50,138
Reese, I still don't understand
what we're doing here.
305
00:16:50,849 --> 00:16:53,436
I've worked here all this
time and I didn't understand.
306
00:16:53,499 --> 00:16:54,549
Understand what?
307
00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:56,476
This is a crime against nature.
308
00:16:57,012 --> 00:16:59,817
Would you like to be slathered in a
delicious sauce and charbroiled to order?
309
00:17:00,283 --> 00:17:01,000
I don't think so.
310
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:05,667
Wow, wait up.
311
00:17:14,317 --> 00:17:15,026
You're free!
312
00:17:15,183 --> 00:17:17,231
You're all free!
Go and live your lives!
313
00:17:26,257 --> 00:17:27,094
Earn this.
314
00:17:30,891 --> 00:17:33,314
You're a hero, Reese!
Look at them run!
315
00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:34,836
It's beautiful, isn't it?
316
00:17:35,899 --> 00:17:37,610
I mean, besides the flies
and crap and stuff.
317
00:17:40,562 --> 00:17:43,094
Oh, my God! They're
heading under the freeway!
318
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:46,042
This is it, the open road.
319
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:48,897
A great new chapter's
about to be written,
320
00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:51,734
a new legend about to be born.
321
00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:56,692
Will I travel from town to town
solving crimes like Knightrider,
322
00:17:57,057 --> 00:18:00,217
or administer frontier justice
like the guy from Kung Fu?
323
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,465
I guess we'll just have to see.
324
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:10,453
Okay, America, get ready
to meet Craig Feldspar.
325
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:13,358
Craig, wait!
326
00:18:20,829 --> 00:18:22,266
Oh, God!
327
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,260
Craig, are you all right?!
328
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:29,322
Craig, Craig!
329
00:18:29,486 --> 00:18:30,914
Kit, is that you?
330
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,157
Just help me back on my hog.
331
00:18:36,523 --> 00:18:37,176
I'll be fine.
332
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,483
Thanks. I'm good to go.
333
00:18:40,610 --> 00:18:43,047
Oh, Craig, don't be ridiculous.
You're not going anywhere.
334
00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:47,066
Why? Do you need somebody to
paint your lawn or mow your house?
335
00:18:47,504 --> 00:18:49,267
Look, Craig, Malcolm
told me about that.
336
00:18:49,782 --> 00:18:52,664
I admit I take you for granted
sometimes, I apologize for that,
337
00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:53,961
but we can talk about that later.
338
00:18:54,455 --> 00:18:55,652
You have to come back.
339
00:18:55,958 --> 00:18:56,845
I can't.
340
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,189
Why? Craig, come on.
341
00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:01,920
Aren't you interested at all to
see how my mom punishes me?
342
00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:02,478
No.
343
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:03,537
Why not?
344
00:19:05,054 --> 00:19:09,995
Because for the last 12 years,
I've dedicated my life to a
relationship that can't exist.
345
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,556
I can't go back to that.
346
00:19:13,159 --> 00:19:15,187
Craig, what do you want from me?!
347
00:19:16,513 --> 00:19:18,016
I want more!
348
00:19:18,153 --> 00:19:18,770
I'm sorry.
349
00:19:19,163 --> 00:19:21,022
I can't give you more. You know that.
350
00:19:21,832 --> 00:19:22,917
There's got to be something.
351
00:19:23,407 --> 00:19:27,193
There's got to be some scenario where
you could see us together. Please?!
352
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:28,653
Anything!
353
00:19:36,079 --> 00:19:39,496
Okay, this is the only universe
this could possibly exist in.
354
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,087
I'm 90 years old.
355
00:19:44,345 --> 00:19:45,152
Hal is dead.
356
00:19:45,565 --> 00:19:48,656
I have dementia and I need someone
to keep me from catching myself on fire.
357
00:19:49,274 --> 00:19:51,405
There's no money for a nurse,
the kids won't do it,
358
00:19:51,672 --> 00:19:53,943
and I'm asleep 22 hours a day.
359
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:57,813
Then and only then maybe
could we be together.
360
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,714
It's like you're reading
straight out of my diary.
361
00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:15,195
Six, seven, eight.
362
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:19,580
I win!
363
00:20:26,714 --> 00:20:31,536
I got to tell you, Dad, I really
thought this was just going to
be another one of your stupid,
364
00:20:31,618 --> 00:20:35,459
useless lessons like the time you made us
nurse that rabid squirrel back to health.
365
00:20:36,881 --> 00:20:38,220
But this one really worked.
366
00:20:39,528 --> 00:20:42,567
I can't believe it, but I really learned
some valuable things about...
367
00:20:43,449 --> 00:20:46,494
life and about how
the world really works.
368
00:20:48,794 --> 00:20:49,277
Thank you.
369
00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:54,571
That's loser talk!
370
00:20:55,007 --> 00:20:55,314
What?
371
00:20:55,540 --> 00:21:01,507
I am living in Successful Estates while
you are being buried in a piano box!
372
00:21:03,706 --> 00:21:05,477
In your face, drug addict!
373
00:21:05,736 --> 00:21:07,303
Hotcha! I won!
374
00:21:07,578 --> 00:21:09,394
I won! Oh, yes, indeed, I won!
375
00:21:11,088 --> 00:21:11,987
I won, I won, I won...