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#601 : Il faut sauver le soldat Reese

 

Lois essaye de faire revenir Reese mais à l'armée on lui explique qu'ils ne peuvent le faire revenir avant six mois. Malcolm se porte volontaire pour aider dans une maison de retraite afin de laver sa culpabilité car c'est à cause de lui si Reese est parti. Il découvre que les vieux de la maison sont de vrais zombies, il décide alors de voler les tranquillisants masi sans eux les vieux deviennent fous. Dewey propose alors à Malcolm de faire ce que Reese aimerait faire en son honneur. Reese pendant ce temps déserte l'armée et essaye de retourner à la maison, il finit par tomber sur Lois qui a vendu la voiture pour venir le chercher en avion.

Popularité


3.75 - 4 votes

Titre VO
Reese Comes Home

Titre VF
Il faut sauver le soldat Reese

Première diffusion
07.11.2004

Première diffusion en France
25.05.2005

Photos promo

Reese a des hallucinations.

Reese a des hallucinations.

Plus de détails

Hal explique tout ce qui s’est récemment passé dans la famille, de son arrestation à Reese dans l’armée, tout y passe. Mais on se rend alors compte qu’il raconte toute sa vie, à une petite fille venue vendre des cookies pour son école.

Générique

Lois tente de tout faire pour retrouver Reese, elle a même menacée quelques militaires. Mais l’armée lui a expliqué que même si elle retrouve le faux nom que Reese a donné, il faudra au minimum 6 mois pour le rapatrier. Lois est très en colère et s’en prend à Malcolm. Ce dernier commence à culpabiliser et à s’inquiéter pour son frère.

Reese arrive enfin à destination, il pense être une super machine à combattre. Mais dès qu’il se rend compte qu’il est à la guerre, il panique lâche tout et s’enfuit à toutes jambes.

Malcolm tente de moins culpabiliser, et fait une liste de toutes les horreurs que Reese lui a fait subir. Mais Dewey lui fait comprendre que tout ce que Reese a fait, n’est rien par rapport à ce que Malcolm a fait.

Hal tente lui aussi d’en savoir plus pour Reese, il se rend sur place, et apprend la fausse identité de son fils. Quand il voit tout les avantages que propose l’armée, Hal veut s’engager et il appelle Lois pour tout lui expliquer. Bien sur sa femme refuse catégoriquement.

Malcolm décide de faire du bénévolat auprès de vieux vétérans, il est même très motivé.

Reese fait tout ce qu’il peut pour retrouver son chemin et rentrer au pays. Mais sa carte n’est pas très adapté.

Lois rencontre le sergent de Reese, il est ravi de rencontrer la mère de son meilleur soldat. Ils échangent quelques secrets sur la façon de punir leurs garçons. Pris d’affection, il décide de l’aider à sa façon.

Reese de son coté se voit contraint de se marier (il est déguisé avec une djellaba et son futur mari ne sait pas qu’il est un homme)

Malcolm ne comprend pas pourquoi tout ces vétérans sont inondés de sédatifs. Plus aucuns d’eux n’a de réaction. L’infirmière lui explique que c’est beaucoup mieux pour tout le monde de faire comme ça.

Lois décide de partir pour Kaboul afin de sauver son fils. Hal tente de la retenir, elle fait mine d’accepter. Mais elle réussit quand même à partir.

Reese est à bout de force, mais dans son imagination il va recevoir l’aide inattendu de Monsieur la Gaufre (ces céréales favorite). Il retrouve donc la force de continuer. Il tente alors de partir par ces propres moyens, mais sans le savoir il retourne à la case départ.

Malcolm a décidé de ne pas donner les sédatifs aux patients. Mais malheureusement, à peine ont t’ils tous récupérés, que les vétérans se sautent tous dessus pour s’entretuer.

Dewey et Malcolm décident de rendre hommage à leur frère en mettant un peu de boxon dans une kermesse.

Reese est attrapé par des hommes, ils l’emmènent dans une tente. Il repère alors un visage familier. Il s’agit de Lois, elle a réussi à le retrouver. Mais au lieu d’accolades chaleureuses, Lois tire les oreilles de son fils et lui hurle dessus.

Dewey et Malcolm font voler avec des ballons des couches de Jamie dans le ciel, et les font exploser au dessus des personnes venues pour la kermesse. Ils se remémorent tout les deux des bons souvenirs de leur frère. Ils sont tristes, mais soudain Reese arrive. Les trois frères sont ravis d’être à nouveau réunis, et ils continuent de faire éclater des ballons sur les gens …

 

Écrit par Bibou

601 REESE COMES HOME TRANSCRIPT

Hal: So, after I was indicted, my wife lost her job and had a nervous breakdown, and if that wasn't bad enough, one of our sons stole his brother's girlfriend, which made him run away from home and join the Army. We don't even know where he is.

Sergeant: We've entered Afghani airspace. Remember, pull the green cord before the light green cord.

Hal: We're just worried sick about him. It's just that you feel so helpless, you know?

Girl: Look, I don't set the prices, mister. They're four bucks a box. Take it or leave it.

Hal: All right. Just the Thin Mints.

Hal: It doesn't have to be tuna surprise. It can be chicken surprise, or beef, but there will be a surprise involved. You know, we can wait for Mom to make dinner.

Hal: I'm sorry, she went to talk with some Army administrator about Reese. She'll be gone for hours.

Lois: Get your hands off me! Your authority stops at my property line! What did she do?

Officer: She completely destroyed an office, made explicit threats against the United States Army, attacked my groinage region and captured same.

Hal: Listen, maybe there's a way we can make this whole thing go away.

Officer: Sir, if she comes within 500 feet of my perimeter I've been given the authority to engage.

Malcolm: Mom, what happened?

Lois: I'll tell you what happened. I told them how my underage son ran away and joined the Army under false pretences and was sent off to combat and you know what they said? They said if you can find out what name he used, they can have him back to us in six months. Six months!

Malcolm (TC): They'll have him back to us in six months. I don't know if she's upset he's gonna get killed, or met someone else is gonna do it.

Hal: Honey, you know you're gonna lose a nail inside your palm again. Just calm down and let the Army...

Lois: I don't trust the Army, which means this family has to find him, and I don't trust this family, which means I have to find him.

Hal: Two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star?

Lois: And he blubbered like a baby.

Malcolm: The Army. What do you expect of people who would give Reese a gun?

Lois: Oh, that's right. It's the Army's fault if your brother gets killed.

Hal: Now, Lois, we can't blame Malcolm for stealing Reese's girl and causing this whole mess in the first place. Kids his age are nothing but raging hormones and hideous self-involvement. They are all amoral little creeps.

Lois: Don't defend him, Hal. Just help me make dinner. Great, "angry meat loaf". Thanks a lot.

Malcolm: We don't have to worry about Reese. All he has to do is lay low and not do anything stupid. Oh, God.

Reese: I'm a lean, mean fighting machine. I'm a lean, mean fighting machine. I'm a robot. Robots are cool. Green Lantern fought a robot. I love Green Lantern. I love pie. Pie...Pie...Pie... Why am I thinking about pie? I'm supposed to be thinking about something else. Does it rhyme with "pie"? Buy? Cry? Die? High? Pie? Pie! Pie? Green Lantern. Fighting robot. Fighting machine. Me...I'm a fighting machine. I'm a lean, mean fighting machine. I'm a lean, mean fighting machine.

Dewey: What is that?

Malcolm: I made a list of every bad thing Reese ever did to me.

Dewey: A list?

Malcolm: I'm sick of having to defend myself! No matter what I did to Reese, he's done way worse stuff to me, and it's all here on this list.

Dewey: So we're admitting we have lists? Mine starts January '95. When does yours start?

Malcolm: October 3, 1996: my first knuckle pizza. July 10, 1997: my first atomic swirly. The big bruise of '99. "Backyard Dentist", "Lighter Fluid Donut". That's worse than stealing a girlfriend, right?

Dewey: I don't know; were you in love for the first time with that donut?

Malcolm: Shut up, Dewey. I had every right. In fact, I owe him.

Dewey: So you're saying if he dies, then you'll be even?

Malcolm: I didn't say he was going to die!

Dewey: Malcolm, he almost killed himself with Bisquick once.

Malcolm: I'm just saying he deserves whatever he gets. No, he doesn't. That's something Reese would say. I'm not Reese. Just because he's horrible doesn't mean I have to be. I'm better than that.

Dewey: Wow, for a brother-killer, you sure are conceited.

Lois: Oh, uh, excuse me. Hi, uh, Sergeant Rick. I'm wondering if you can help me. My son is underaged, and I think you may have recruited him. Take a look.

Sergeant: Oh, yeah, Private Jetson. Oh! Yeah. Well, let's see, uh... He was sent to Fort Roberts. I'll get you the address.

Lois: Oh, I really appreciate this. I just don't understand what would make him go and do a crazy thing like this.

Sergeant: Well, the truth is is today's Army's a pretty attractive package. Competitive salaries, health benefits, college tuition...

Hal: Lois, I didn't sign anything. Just hear me out. It's only two weekends a month, plus we might qualify for a housing allowance. Okay, there's a slight possibility of active duty, but Sergeant Rick expects global events to stabilize in the next three months.

Malcolm: Excuse me?

Nurse Peterson: What do you want?

Malcolm: I'm Malcolm. I'm here Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 3:00 to 7:00.

Nurse Peterson: No one volunteers here. They're all signing up for the glamorous jobs at the burn unit.

Malcolm: I just want to do something to help veterans.

Nurse Peterson: Really? You think you can handle helping around here? How 'bout trying to give Mr. Skoros a sponge bath?

Malcolm: Sure.

Nurse Peterson: Or maybe you'd prefer to clip Mr. Deepmarth’s toenails.

Malcolm: Okay.

Nurse Peterson: Or how 'bout going room to room emptying bed pans and stanching bed sores?

Malcolm: You know, I think I can save us both a little time here. This is how I see it playing out: you're keep thinking of worse and worse jobs for me to do, and you know what? I'm going to do them, all of them, no matter what. Why? It doesn't matter. I have my reasons. So go ahead, knock yourself out.

Nurse Peterson: Well, it kind of takes some of the fun out of it, but okay. You can start the afternoon enemas with Mr. Klegman.

Malcolm: It'll be my pleasure.

Lois: It's about my son, Reese. Um, I think you know him as Private Jetson.

Sergeant: Private Jetson. Ma'am, let me shake your hand. That boy is older than this old dogface ever had the privilege of commanding. I wish I had a hundred more just like him. He's a fine boy.

Lois: Yes, well... we think so, too.

Sergeant: I'd be proud to help you in any way that I can. Now you just name it.

Lois: The problem is he joined under false pretences. He ran away; he's not even 18 years old yet. We need to know where he is so we can find him and bring him back home.

Sergeant: I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't help you. That's classified. If your son were on a secret mission, which I'm not saying he is nor that one exists, it would compromise said mission if indeed there were one. My hands are tied.

Lois: You know, Sergeant, you and I aren't so different. I mean, if you think about it, we both have the same job. Taking a bunch of mindless, irresponsible teenagers and turning them into something vaguely useful to the world.

Sergeant: It is a challenge, ma'am.

Lois: Last week, one of my boys was trying to iron his shirt while he was still in it.

Sergeant: One of mine interrupted a war game because his rifle was kind of digging into his shoulder.

Lois: Did you make everyone suffer for what the one kid did?

Sergeant: Of course. But it never lasts, does it? It is stunning how much punishment they require.

Lois: Tell me about it. I'm amazed I get anything else done. Did you ever try the opposite?

Sergeant: What do you mean?

Lois: Give one of them special privileges for no reason.

Sergeant: How does that work?

Lois: It's really pretty neat. The others don't know why he got special privileges so they start doing everything right just to catch up. Then the one you singled out starts getting suspicious and paranoid and he starts informing on the stragglers.

Sergeant: That sounds pretty good. You mind if I steal that one?

Lois: Yeah, be my guest. You know another good one? Let them pick punishments for each other. It exercises their creativity and keeps them from ganging up on you.

Sergeant: Nice.

Lois: You can also take their breakfast, lunch and dinner, put it the blender and grind it up into a gray paste. Eventually, they eat it. That's kind of fun.

Sergeant: You are an artist.

Lois: No, I'm just a talented amateur.

Sergeant: I wish I could help you. I wish I could just open this drawer up and show you the information you need. But I can't. It's got me so frustrated that I just want to stare intently out this window for, oh, say... 120 seconds.

Malcolm: What is wrong with these guys? They're just like zombies.

Nurse Peterson: It's the medication that makes them that way. Except for Kowalski. I mean, he came to us like that.

Malcolm: Look, I don't think you should be giving them so much. I was reading to Donaldson for a half an hour, then a bee crawled out of his nose.

Nurse Peterson: Believe me, it's better for everyone to keep these men as calm as possible.

Malcolm: Hey, Ed, you want to play? Here we go. You know what, Ed? You can do this. I believe in you, all right? I'm here to help you, however long it takes. Maybe you feel ignored here. Maybe you feel like you don't exist. I know you exist, Ed. Let me help you.

Hal: Where have you been? You've been gone all day. You haven't called. I've been worried sick about you. Well, I have to eat, Lois. I'm a human being.

Lois: I'm sorry I'm so late. I had to take the bus home. I sold the car. I bought a plane ticket to Kabul. There's $400 left. I'd give it to you to pay down the Visa bill, but I need it for bribes.

Hal: What?!

Lois: I'm gonna go get him.

Hal: What are you talking about? You can't just go get him.

Lois: Yes, I can. Tonight, I'm gonna buy enough frozen dinners to last you and the boys for three weeks. Then tomorrow, I'm flying to Kabul. If I don't get anywhere with the Army, I'll hire an interpreter and get the locals to help me. If I have to, I'll make friends with a warlord. Those guys are pretty organized. I'll find him, Hal.

Hal: And when does the little bird pop out of your head and start singing?

Lois: This is what's happening, Hal.

Hal: Lois, you can't do this. At some point, you have to check your ego and leave it to the professionals.

Lois: I can't.

Hal: Lois, you have this reckless, crazy belief in yourself that lets you do amazing things. It's something this family has always depended on. I would be lost without it, but sometimes that reckless, crazy belief is just, just... reckless and crazy! You've got to accept that some people can do things that you can't. Heart surgeons, rocket scientists, that lady at the mall who carves your name into a grain of rice. How does she do that?

Lois: No one knows.

Hal: Honey, honey, look... I am giving you permission not to be omnipotent. I know it's gonna be hard, but everything will be okay. I know it will.

Flight Attendant: Sarsi or Diet Sarsi?

Reese: I can't do it. I can't go on.

Mr Waffles: Is this any way to start your morning?

Reese: Mr. Waffles?

Mr Waffles: Reese, you can't give up! You got to keep going. You got to keep trying.

Reese: You don't know what I've been through. I've been shot at, chased, married, and when the guy found out I was a dude, it wasn't like a total deal breaker.

Mr Waffles: Son, I know it's hard. Everything worth doing is hard. When third quarter profits were down, did Mr. Waffles give up? No, he did not. He put more lip-smacking delight in every bite!

Reese: I don't think I can move.

Mr Waffles: You have to move, Reese. You have to get home to your family and friends and your country. These people have no idea what breakfast is. They take rice from the night before and cook it up into a thin paste. Is that your idea of breakfast?

Reese: No, but...

Mr Waffles: Do you ever want to taste my buttery goodness again?

Reese: You know I do.

Mr Waffles: Reese, listen to me. I now have 20% more blueberries in every box. My legs. They plump up in the batter!

Reese: They're so juicy that way! I'm coming home!

Mr Waffles: I'm proud of you, son.

Reese: Whatever happened to Mrs. Waffles? She was hot.

Mr Waffles: Yes, she was. But she didn't increase product awareness in girls 3 to 18 a single percent.

Malcolm: Nurse Peterson, you'll be interested to know I took everyone's tranquilizers and flushed them down the toilet.

Nurse Peterson: What?

Malcolm: I came here to help because I owe someone something, a soldier like these men. I didn't come here to stand by and do nothing while you crush their spirits with chemicals. He deserved better, and they deserve better. What the hell is wrong with you? You can't take these men off their sedatives. Oh, my God. Security!

Malcolm: Guys, please calm down. Guys! You've got to stop. Come on, come on! You have to...

Hal: (after Malcolm groans in pain about his injury) Oh, I don't want to hear it. Isn't it bad enough with your mother gone and your brother missing? You have to go out brawling in the streets?

Malcolm: I'm sorry.

Hal: Yeah. Wait a minute. This is our dinner.

Malcolm: Well, good news. God decided I don't deserve to redeem myself. I get to carry this soulcrushing guilt for the rest of my life.

Dewey: Yeah. I've been trying to compose a requiem for him. It's hard getting in the right mood using a glitter marker. Maybe we've been trying to honor Reese the wrong way.

Malcolm: What do you mean?

Dewey: Reese wasn't into helping people and doing good deeds. He loved to smash stuff and destroy things for no reason. If we're gonna honour Reese, maybe we should think about doing it his way.

Malcolm: You have something in mind?

Dewey: This kind of caught my eye.

Malcolm: An art fair?

Dewey: Just think what Reese would have done with this. They've got drift wood art, yarn owls, dream catchers, face painting, folk dancing. They are kind of begging for it.

Malcolm: I don't know.

Dewey: There's Rapping Grannies.

Malcolm: Let me see that.

Reese: Let me go, please! Come on. How was I supposed to know it was your god? It looked like a monkey man! You're gonna regret this! If my husband finds out, he'll make you pay. Then you'll really be sorry. Mom?

Lois: Thank you so much. (to Reese) There you are. What in the name of God were you thinking?! Look at you! You are filthy! Your nails are a disgrace. You've been tomb robbing! Well, the fun stops now, young man! You are in so much trouble!

Malcolm: I just can't believe he could really be gone.

Dewey: I know. Wow, this diaper's got to be a fivepounder.

Malcolm: I'd like to think Jamie knew what it was for. It's so weird. It seems like all my life I've wished for something horrible to happen to Reese, and now that it has, I...I...

Dewey: Miss him?

Malcolm: Yeah.

Dewey: I do, too. Remember when he shaved my eyebrows and glued them back on so I looked permanently surprised? That was genius.

Malcolm: Remember that look of pure joy he'd get on Christmas morn ing when he was smashing our presents? It's in my eyes! No matter how hard I tried, I could never make Mom's face turn that special purple color. Reese purple. Why couldn't I have said something meaningful to him before he...

Dewey: Don't do this to yourself. He would have liked this. I only wish he could have been here to see it.

Reese: Me, too.

Malcolm: Reese!

Dewey: You're not dead!

Malcolm: I can't believe it. Reese, I'm so glad to see you.

Reese: All right, all right. Don't 'mo me. (sees balloons and diapers) How does this work?

Malcolm: Oh, well, we have the remote here, and you pick out a good one...

Dewey: Here. We were saving this one. It's from when Jamie had swine flu.

Reese: Nice. God, I love this country.

 

Source: écrit par Amigo22 du site https://www.malcolminthemiddle.co.uk

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Au total, 81 membres ont visionné cet épisode ! Ci-dessous les derniers à l'avoir vu...

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