Script VO Brut
* By www.tvsubtitles.net *
1
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Look tickle monster!
He's going to get you.
2
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,269
Honey, you can stop looking for the car keys.
3
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Malcolm in the Middle - 6.09 - Malcolm's Car
4
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Synchronisation par Doyle & Mark,
Script original par Raceman.
5
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Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk
& Malcolm-France.com
6
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- You are going to be so proud of me.
- Why?
7
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,564
I spent the last five nights in a chat room
reeling in this creep named Heinrich.
8
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,643
I got his address and showed up at his
house with a printed transcript of our conversations.
9
00:01:11,441 --> 00:01:14,825
He calls me "Sugarbuns" 15 times on nine separate occasions.
10
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:15,585
Reese...
11
00:01:15,586 --> 00:01:19,700
So the guy starts crying,
"What about my wife? What about my kids? I'll do anything."
12
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Entrapment.
13
00:01:21,858 --> 00:01:23,376
It's not just for police anymore.
14
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,013
- Why do I care about this?
- The guy works at the racetrack.
15
00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:28,770
He's going to make bets for us on the horses we pick.
16
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:30,750
Well, the horses you pick.
17
00:01:31,471 --> 00:01:32,680
This is tomorrow's racing form.
18
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:38,170
You'll pick the winners and I'll place the bets,
we split the winnings 50-50, like brothers.
19
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- That's kind of nice.
- Yeah.
20
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,900
I got to keep this guy on his toes. Time to leave a
suspicious message on his answering machine.
21
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,220
Wow, blackmailing a pervert to facilitate underage gambling.
22
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,800
How could this not work out?
23
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:58,300
It did work out. It's been four days and
Reese and I have already won almost $300.
24
00:01:58,674 --> 00:02:02,000
I can't believe it. Reese's plans usually end up
with a missing toe or something.
25
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,555
Since when... do you...
26
00:02:04,818 --> 00:02:05,700
buy lunch?
27
00:02:05,701 --> 00:02:09,367
Oh, well, I've been making some extra money at work.
28
00:02:09,368 --> 00:02:14,000
There's an incentive program at work,
we're given bonuses for finding
29
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:17,100
inefficiencism, it's really improve morale at the store.
30
00:02:17,101 --> 00:02:20,165
You know, I actually enjoy going
to work now that everybody is...
31
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:21,600
Whoa! Jeez, are you okay?
32
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,270
Trying to finish...
33
00:02:24,383 --> 00:02:25,844
what God started?
34
00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:28,128
I'm sorry, I didn't see the curb. I was distracted by that...
35
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,197
Do you believe this?
36
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:40,662
What happened?
37
00:02:40,855 --> 00:02:45,000
I was half way through my haircut when Troy
casually mentioned that his price had gone up
38
00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:49,100
from $21 to $28. And he thought
I would just sit there and take it.
39
00:02:49,101 --> 00:02:52,545
Well, I showed him, Hal.
I got up and I walked right out of there.
40
00:02:52,546 --> 00:02:54,495
This is extortion, pure and simple.
41
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,250
What are you going to do about...?
42
00:02:58,092 --> 00:02:59,900
- Here, even it up.
- What?
43
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,977
- I can't walk around like this. Cut it.
- No, I couldn't.
44
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,100
Hal, it doesn't have to look good.
Just hack this side off. Even it up.
45
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:18,299
Oh, my God. This is beautiful, Hal.
You've never done this before?
46
00:03:18,456 --> 00:03:20,939
No, I guess I just have a knack for it.
47
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,965
Lois, I didn't think it was possible,
but you are even more stunning than ever.
48
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:27,725
Oh, Hal.
49
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,880
- What in the...?
- This is my new car. I bought it.
50
00:03:44,881 --> 00:03:48,000
Now, I know what you're thinking,
but please just give me 45 seconds to explain
51
00:03:48,001 --> 00:03:51,375
why this is the perfect car for me
and how it was such and insanely great deal
52
00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:53,000
that I had no choice but to buy it.
53
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,600
Hey, there's some black gooey stuff leaking out of it.
54
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,200
I know it looks fast and dangerous, but that's a good thing.
55
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:02,000
Cops will have their eye on my car,
so I'll be extra motivated to drive safe and slow.
56
00:04:02,170 --> 00:04:05,050
It didn't cost much, so I'll have
enough to pay for the first year's insurance.
57
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,200
Think of all the money you'll save from
less wear and tear on your car,
58
00:04:08,201 --> 00:04:10,900
- since I won't have to drive it anymore.
- I can put my finger through the metal.
59
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,250
Dewey, get out of there!
60
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,145
I'll be able to work extra shifts since
I won't have to ride in with you,
61
00:04:15,146 --> 00:04:16,900
which means I'll be bringing more money into the house.
62
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,400
Oh, and I love it.
63
00:04:18,778 --> 00:04:21,200
I know you don't care, but it just needed to be said.
64
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:25,830
Malcolm, the fact that you even want this so bad
should have been your first clue that this is...
65
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,195
- Lois.
- Hal, he's not...
66
00:04:28,196 --> 00:04:33,000
Look, every boy has to go through this.
It's the only way they find out what's important in a car.
67
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,848
Look, let's go. I need to feather your neckline a little bit.
68
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,300
Where were you? We were supposed to meet
Heinrich right after lunch to get our bets in.
69
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,130
Today was totally wasted.
Although he did buy me a swimsuit.
70
00:04:47,131 --> 00:04:51,345
I got a car, Reese. I finally have a car.
It's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
71
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,550
It's a piece of crap.
72
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,700
Don't listen to him. You're magnificent.
73
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,820
Lois, your hair looks beautiful.
74
00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:06,880
She's right, Lois. It's fantastic.
75
00:05:06,881 --> 00:05:09,100
Thank you. I've been getting compliments all day.
76
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,229
It looks so much better.
77
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:13,159
Yeah, I thought you were trapped
in the '70s with that old cut.
78
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,350
And your head doesn't look so boxy anymore.
79
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:23,250
Lois? What did you do to your hair?
I love it. Fred, isn't it fantastic?
80
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:23,820
Mm-hmm.
81
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:26,175
- Who's your stylist?
- My husband did it.
82
00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,850
- Really? Where's his shop?
- He doesn't have one.
83
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,500
I just got the scissors out of the drawer and,
I don't know, he just got inspired.
84
00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:33,774
Amazing.
85
00:05:33,775 --> 00:05:37,600
Okay, ladies, we're agreed. Lois looks beautiful.
Now, let's get back to work.
86
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:39,250
I got a job to do, too, honey.
87
00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:41,355
Good evening, Fred.
88
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:46,000
There goes the soul of this store.
89
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:49,635
- And it keeps your nose from taking over your face.
- Yeah, thanks.
90
00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:52,300
- So I'll see you tonight?
- I wouldn't miss it.
91
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:57,883
Lois, you've got to help me.
92
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,300
What?
93
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,748
- I need you to cover the rest of my shift for me.
- Again? Craig, what's going on?
94
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,450
Paula wants to surprise Fred for their anniversary.
95
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,885
He's a big golfer, so she wants to learn how,
so I've been giving her lessons.
96
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:08,955
You don't know how to golf.
97
00:06:08,956 --> 00:06:13,555
True, but somehow she got the idea that
I only missed the cut at the Masters by three strokes.
98
00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:17,888
- You lied to her?
- Lois, my job here is hanging by a thread.
99
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,080
I thought if I could help the boss's wife
surprise him with a game of golf,
100
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:26,190
they'd end up kissing on the 18th green,
and maybe I'd be in there somewhere getting the credit for it.
101
00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:29,200
Or you could just work hard at your job
and then you wouldn't have to suck up.
102
00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:32,435
Lois, I don't have time for your fantasies.
I'm in trouble here.
103
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,910
The first few lessons we worked on driving the cart,
but now she wants to know how to swing a club.
104
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:40,120
I need to take a lesson so I can
bluff my way through her lessons.
105
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,000
- Craig...
- Please, Lois.
106
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:45,817
I can't lose this job.
This is the only true thing on my resume.
107
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:47,850
All right, but I'm only...
108
00:06:47,851 --> 00:06:48,490
Feldspar!
109
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,750
I want all those 50-pound bags of dog food out
on the floor before I get back from the warehouse.
110
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:53,613
I'm on it.
111
00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:55,410
Thanks, Lois.
112
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,300
Sorry I'm late, Hal.
The grocery store was...
113
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:03,700
Hi, Lois.
114
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,000
- Hal, what are you doing?
- Just giving Margie a new look.
115
00:07:07,350 --> 00:07:11,100
- I had to have him do me. Your husband's a genius.
- And I get to keep the hair.
116
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:16,855
Now where was I? Oh, my sister. Honestly, a beach
condo on her salary. Who is she trying to impress?
117
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,300
She's just so insecure, she always has been.
118
00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:22,600
Every year she sends a Christmas card with a
picture of her family sitting on a sailboat.
119
00:07:22,601 --> 00:07:23,540
It's not even theirs.
120
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,360
Uh, Lois. Do you have to do the grocery thing in here?
121
00:07:28,995 --> 00:07:29,620
So...
122
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,585
They rent that boat from their horrible neighbors who,
P.S., don't even know how to sail.
123
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,600
What is your problem, you stupid car?
You're driving me nuts.
124
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,400
Where... were you?
125
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,920
Oh, Stevie, good. Here, take this.
If it turns over, yank it out.
126
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,400
I waited... at the library.
127
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,650
You should have seen her today. I was at a light
and these jerks pulled up next to mewanting to race.
128
00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:01,850
I hit the gas and she just flew.
129
00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:05,860
I totally blew the doors off for four seconds
before she dropped an oil pan.
130
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,650
That's it!
131
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:15,600
Malcolm, we did it. We won over $250 from...
from the good grades program at school.
132
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,850
Awesome. That'll pay for this.
133
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,800
Isn't it beautiful? This is for you.
134
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:32,300
I e-mailed... my chess move... days ago.
135
00:08:32,301 --> 00:08:34,490
Stevie, I don't have to do everything with you.
136
00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:38,900
Tell you what. I'll take you for a drive. That'll...
137
00:08:48,025 --> 00:08:51,520
What is your problem, you stupid car?!
You're driving me nuts!
138
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,760
So I'm thinking, I feel young,
so why not look young?
139
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,865
So I got the Botox done to crow's feet and my forehead,
then I had my chin done and my tummy tucked.
140
00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:08,930
- And I may notstop there.
- Work it, girlfriend.
141
00:09:09,735 --> 00:09:10,400
Oh, hi, Lois.
142
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,350
Can I talk to you for a minute?
143
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,840
Does your grandmother know you borrowed her hands?
144
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:19,660
I went to six different stores and could not
find that avocado oil you recommended.
145
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,280
Hal, this isn't working for me.
146
00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:26,350
Well, that's because you don't
scrunch and sprits like I told you to.
147
00:09:26,351 --> 00:09:29,820
No, this. Look. Craig is flaking out on me.
148
00:09:29,821 --> 00:09:33,000
I'm pulling double shifts for him and every
time I come home, it's full of people.
149
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,700
I never have any time alone.
There is hair everywhere.
150
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,700
And I do not like the way you are standing lately.
151
00:09:39,890 --> 00:09:44,500
Lois, these women are walking out
of here with a glow. It's wonderful.
152
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,780
Well, can't you at least some of
the money you're making to hire a cleaning lady?
153
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,320
- I'm not accepting money for this !
- What?!
154
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:56,710
I am transforming these women, Lois.
I won't soil that with money. And it's not just the hair.
155
00:09:57,100 --> 00:10:00,000
They confide in me, they need
someone to listen to their problems.
156
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:02,150
You wouldn't believe what some
of these women are going through.
157
00:10:02,610 --> 00:10:06,020
Nancy, she's getting audited.
Margie's husband has a gambling problem,
158
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:08,610
and Paula in there, she is having an affair.
159
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:09,850
What?!
160
00:10:09,851 --> 00:10:13,800
Yes, for the last five months. It's some guy
she's pretending to take golf lessons with.
161
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,545
Why do you keep doing this to me?
162
00:10:25,279 --> 00:10:27,960
I fix your throttle leakage and your alternator dies.
163
00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:30,922
I buy you a new alternator and your water pump explodes.
164
00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:34,608
Every time I think I'm getting close, you find a new way to hurt me.
165
00:10:35,613 --> 00:10:37,289
Hey, thanks for placing that bet today.
166
00:10:37,719 --> 00:10:40,200
I tried to get out of detention, but none of the fire alarms were working.
167
00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:41,599
Where's the money?
168
00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:42,891
I never made the bet.
169
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:43,849
What?
170
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,146
I didn't make the bet. I spent the money on something else.
171
00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:47,965
A car bra!
172
00:10:49,641 --> 00:10:50,167
What?
173
00:10:50,535 --> 00:10:52,023
You had $200.
174
00:10:52,178 --> 00:10:54,097
That horse came in at five to two.
175
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:56,524
I don't know what that is,
but I'm supposed to get half of it.
176
00:10:56,602 --> 00:10:58,716
Sorry, man. But look how hot she looks.
177
00:10:59,343 --> 00:11:03,924
- Malcolm, you got to calm down. This car is messing you up.
- This car is not messing me up.
178
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,243
It's made me happier than I've ever been in my life.
179
00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:13,774
Oh, Lois, thank God.
180
00:11:13,891 --> 00:11:20,390
Fred asked me to scrub out the Dumpsters tonight, but Paula wants to work
on her short iron, so I had to schedule &an emergency lesson with the golf pro.
181
00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:26,714
The guy charges, like, 90 bucks an hour. It's really eating away
at my savings, but I guess I have no one to blame but myself,
and, oh, my God, you know about the affair.
182
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,782
Damn it! Damn it!
183
00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:30,925
- You do know, right?
- Yes, I know.
184
00:11:31,365 --> 00:11:32,030
Damn it!
185
00:11:32,539 --> 00:11:35,319
Craig, how could you lie to me after all I've done for you?
186
00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:39,352
I let you sleep on our floor when you though
your cat's ghost was trying to kill you.
187
00:11:39,561 --> 00:11:42,575
- I settled that feud between you and the Girl Scout troop.
- They started it.
188
00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:43,407
Shut up!
189
00:11:43,891 --> 00:11:49,842
I do all this and you repay me by making me drag around
50-pound sacks of dog food so you can sleep with the boss's wife?
190
00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:53,561
- That's inexcusable!
- I didn't plan this. It just happened.
191
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,722
One night after inventory, we stopped in the parking lot to talk.
192
00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:03,065
I bent down to pick up her keys, the next thing I know,
she's got me handcuffed in a shower in a motel out by the airport.
193
00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:04,631
She's crazy, Lois.
194
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:06,782
But she makes me crazy, too.
195
00:12:06,783 --> 00:12:07,424
Craig...
196
00:12:07,459 --> 00:12:11,845
I'm not kidding. There is a dark, scary place inside
of me that I didn't even know was there,
197
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:18,831
but Paula knew it was there, and every night she takes me to that
scary place and shows me some new, terrible, delicious corner of it.
198
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:23,621
- You're not going to rat on me, are you?
- No, but you have to end this today.
199
00:12:23,716 --> 00:12:26,787
I can't, Lois. I'm addicted.
I don't even know who I am anymore!
200
00:12:28,299 --> 00:12:29,763
I know I've let you down,
201
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,790
but I want to thank you for helping me anyway.
202
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:37,042
- Craig, I never said I...
- If that homeless guy is still in the Dumpster, just
let him drink from the hose. He'll leave you alone.
203
00:12:40,841 --> 00:12:44,290
Stupid car. That's four coats.
Now will you run?!
204
00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:47,503
- Malcolm, your leopard-skin seat covers are here.
- Sweet.
205
00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:49,291
I can't wait to see you in them.
206
00:12:54,314 --> 00:12:55,589
What's going on?
207
00:12:55,684 --> 00:12:57,715
Malcolm, this is Mike.
208
00:12:58,046 --> 00:12:59,132
He's from AAA.
209
00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:02,298
You're in a safe place with people who care about you.
210
00:13:02,584 --> 00:13:03,529
Sit down, son.
211
00:13:05,561 --> 00:13:07,120
What's all this about?
212
00:13:07,214 --> 00:13:11,041
Stevie and Reese have something
to say and I think you should listen.
213
00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:16,238
You've abandoned... your friends.
214
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:22,049
You didn't even notice my new... deck shoes.
215
00:13:22,124 --> 00:13:25,279
- Stevie, I've just been busy, okay?
- Your car is ruining everything.
216
00:13:25,773 --> 00:13:27,863
It's even affecting our illegal gambling.
217
00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:29,542
I tried to pick a winner myself,
218
00:13:29,664 --> 00:13:33,444
but since I'm an idiot,
I picked one that came in at over 600 to one.
219
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:38,782
I won $11,500 that I can't even touch
because I'd have to fill out a tax form!
220
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:43,474
$11,500 that's just sitting there
tormenting me because of that stupid car!
221
00:13:43,475 --> 00:13:44,895
Stop calling it stupid!
222
00:13:45,736 --> 00:13:48,240
That car isn't stupid.
That car is great.
223
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:50,319
It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
224
00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:54,476
- Really? Where'd you get that shiner?
- That was my fault. I wasn't being careful enough.
225
00:13:55,214 --> 00:13:58,332
Malcolm, we're here to help,
226
00:13:58,615 --> 00:14:01,544
but the first step is for you to admit that you have a problem.
227
00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:04,284
I did. That's why I'm in AAA.
228
00:14:04,454 --> 00:14:07,195
There's thousands of us, Malcolm, and
we all know what you're going through.
229
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,388
I guess I didn't realizehow bad things had gotten.
230
00:14:17,427 --> 00:14:20,923
I think I need to take a good long look at every...
231
00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:30,568
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's it.
232
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,646
I didn't get... to read...
233
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:39,725
my poem.
234
00:14:41,784 --> 00:14:45,677
And when Martha left the room,
Tina checked the price tag on the leather coat...
235
00:14:45,901 --> 00:14:47,554
factory outlet.
236
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:49,985
Temperature good for you?
237
00:14:50,247 --> 00:14:54,830
Perfect. As was the scalp massage.
238
00:14:55,708 --> 00:15:01,614
So all you have to do is cash in the ticket for me,
give me the $11,000, and you can keep $500.
239
00:15:02,086 --> 00:15:03,456
- Deal.
- Thanks, man.
240
00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:06,650
Well, I think it's important you have an adult you can trust.
241
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:12,177
This car is a tease.
242
00:15:12,441 --> 00:15:14,520
Yesterday, she gave me the ride of my life.
243
00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:17,402
Her bra flew off before I even hit the freeway.
244
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:18,772
I was so happy!
245
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:22,985
And today, she won't even start.
246
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,733
It's like yesterday didn't even happen.
247
00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:26,304
I can't take this anymore!
248
00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:28,676
Please start!
249
00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:33,329
Please, I'm begging you!
Just give me a little something, please?!
250
00:15:35,899 --> 00:15:38,672
Oh, thank you so much!
I knew you'd come back.
251
00:15:38,795 --> 00:15:40,921
We're meant to be together.
Don't you see?
252
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,055
Help! Somebody help me!
253
00:16:19,147 --> 00:16:20,164
I'm stuck!
254
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,074
Help!
255
00:16:22,805 --> 00:16:26,510
There's a bit of a wait. We got slammed
with a wedding party and we're way behind.
256
00:16:31,728 --> 00:16:34,439
Huh, The Human Volcano.
One of my favorites.
257
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:38,414
- Oh, it's so much better now that he can read minds.
- Exactly.
258
00:16:38,724 --> 00:16:41,466
He used to just have heat grip.
How lame was that?
259
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,350
- You allergic to nuts?
- No.
260
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:49,776
All right.
261
00:16:54,459 --> 00:16:55,784
What are you studying in school?
262
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:58,095
Regular stuff, I guess.
263
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,481
I don't really like school.
264
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,106
Everybody makes fun of me.
265
00:17:01,507 --> 00:17:04,279
Yeah, I remember those days.
Kids can be so cruel.
266
00:17:04,988 --> 00:17:08,531
The smart kids, the loners, they were the meanest.
267
00:17:08,717 --> 00:17:12,969
The worst is gym class.
My own team throws the ball at me in dodgeball.
268
00:17:14,479 --> 00:17:17,991
Hey, you know how you can get out of gym?
Pretend to have asthma.
269
00:17:18,147 --> 00:17:20,734
All you need is a fake inhaler.
Here, take mine.
270
00:17:20,889 --> 00:17:22,922
It also gets me good seats on the bus.
271
00:17:22,984 --> 00:17:23,785
Don't worry.
272
00:17:24,647 --> 00:17:26,619
Things are going to be better for you from here on out.
273
00:17:26,650 --> 00:17:28,283
My dad tells me the same thing.
274
00:17:28,304 --> 00:17:30,029
Well, your dad's a smart man.
275
00:17:30,707 --> 00:17:32,432
Frank, your new haircut looks great.
276
00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:34,897
Let me just get my purse and I'll drive
you back home to your parents.
277
00:17:35,081 --> 00:17:37,823
Craig, you know Frank's parents, Fred and Paula.
278
00:17:38,411 --> 00:17:40,690
Remember, Fred is our boss at Lucky Aide?
279
00:17:40,752 --> 00:17:43,155
And I believe you're giving golf lessons to his mom.
280
00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:44,911
Let's go, Frank.
281
00:17:45,158 --> 00:17:48,208
And I promise I'll drive very safely
so we don't have an accident.
282
00:17:48,372 --> 00:17:50,867
I wouldn't want to ruin your life
with my carelessness.
283
00:17:57,907 --> 00:17:59,093
I'm not going to make it.
284
00:18:00,605 --> 00:18:02,392
Stevie was right about this car.
285
00:18:05,196 --> 00:18:06,582
And so was Reese.
286
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,016
He was right about the car,
287
00:18:09,815 --> 00:18:10,924
and the horse racing.
288
00:18:14,837 --> 00:18:16,408
That makes it easier.
289
00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:17,733
I don't...
290
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,105
want to live in a world...
291
00:18:21,919 --> 00:18:23,398
where Reese is right.
292
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,365
You really have to snap those sheets
if you want to get the hair off.
293
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:36,031
- Come on. Throw your fanny into it.
- Dad, seriously, you got to stop talking like that.
294
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,633
Oh, I'm sorry.
295
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:41,548
It's just so draining listening to all these
people with their tawdry little secrets.
296
00:18:41,671 --> 00:18:43,304
Like that Paula woman, Fred's wife?
297
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:49,128
Not only is she cheating on her husband, now she's two-timing
on her golf instructor with her swing-dance teacher.
298
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:54,427
She is learning new moves every night if you
know what I'm talking about. She is so cold.
299
00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:59,094
- Hey!
- Stevie, please, we're talking.
300
00:18:59,497 --> 00:19:04,025
And Sheila's husband Randy just got a new assistant.
She's 19 years old and she doesn't even know how to type.
301
00:19:04,661 --> 00:19:06,706
The girl wears a halter top to the office.
302
00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:07,938
Halter tops?
303
00:19:08,155 --> 00:19:11,390
Hello? Dukes of Hazzard on line three.
They want their costumes back.
304
00:19:18,139 --> 00:19:20,203
Malcolm? Malcolm, are you all right?
305
00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:21,590
What happened?
306
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,206
It's okay. It's okay, son. You'll be fine.
Just breathe deep.
307
00:19:26,701 --> 00:19:27,533
Stevie...
308
00:19:28,827 --> 00:19:30,214
you saved my life.
309
00:19:31,479 --> 00:19:33,605
I treated you like dirt. You saved my life.
310
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,442
Your wheel's kinda on my crotch.
311
00:19:39,427 --> 00:19:40,352
Is it?
312
00:19:42,822 --> 00:19:45,226
I can get off early, can't you just cancel your lesson?
313
00:19:45,287 --> 00:19:48,830
I wish I could, but we're working
on the Texas Two-Step tonight.
314
00:19:48,892 --> 00:19:50,679
We never see each other anymore.
315
00:19:51,143 --> 00:19:53,792
Lois, I see you more than
I see my wife these days.
316
00:19:53,977 --> 00:19:56,534
Oh, Fred, things have a way
of changing for the better.
317
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,458
You'll see.
318
00:19:57,582 --> 00:19:59,954
Attention, Lucky Aide shoppers:
319
00:20:00,078 --> 00:20:03,837
My name is Craig Feldspar and
I have a message for Paula Lynch.
320
00:20:04,268 --> 00:20:06,486
Paula, I can't go on like this.
321
00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:08,674
I'm going to do the right thing,
322
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,738
and make you my wife.
323
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:17,013
I just bought an $11,500 engagement
ring which I hope you'll accept.
324
00:20:18,771 --> 00:20:22,036
You're cheating on me with Craig Feldspar?!
325
00:20:25,764 --> 00:20:27,305
I think we're both victims here, Fred.
326
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:28,660
I'm going to go...
327
00:20:29,385 --> 00:20:30,987
something that way.
328
00:20:31,757 --> 00:20:35,639
Sure, it won't be easy for us, but the
path of true love never did run smooth.
329
00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:38,544
We'll move in with my grandmother
and care for her together.
330
00:20:40,035 --> 00:20:43,363
Well, they're about to tow her away.
You want to come say good-bye?
331
00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:44,071
No.
332
00:20:45,427 --> 00:20:46,782
I know it's tough, son.
333
00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:48,877
I thought I'd never get over my first car.
334
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:52,945
'64 Plymouth Fury who couldn't keep her top on.
335
00:20:54,178 --> 00:20:56,057
Then some guy stole her from me.
336
00:20:56,459 --> 00:21:00,402
I saw her a few months later with a new
driver and a different paint job, but,
337
00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:02,394
she meant nothing to me.
338
00:21:02,867 --> 00:21:03,976
I had moved on.
339
00:21:04,365 --> 00:21:05,130
And so will you.
340
00:21:07,213 --> 00:21:08,477
Are you cutting my hair?
341
00:21:08,785 --> 00:21:09,463
No.